


Media Play

by overprimrose



Category: NU'EST
Genre: Fake Dating, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Other idols as side characters, dancer! kim jonghyun | jr, producer! kang dongho | baekho, soloist! choi minki | ren
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-04
Updated: 2020-04-09
Packaged: 2020-08-20 21:51:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 20,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20234950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/overprimrose/pseuds/overprimrose
Summary: When dating rumors threaten Minki's career, they make it clear Jonghyun is dating Dongho. The only problem is he isn't.And maybe that Dongho wishes he was.





	1. Rumors

**Author's Note:**

> i doubt this needs to be said but this all takes place in a magical world where homophobia isnt a thing

Dongho didn’t like being interrupted. Not when there was real work to be done, and he wasn’t only messing around. Especially not when his deadline had become a Deadline, and the drop in the track still wasn’t carrying its own weight.

Dongho buried his head in his hands until his screen darkened. The track continued to play in his ears. At least Bumzu would get there soon and would be able to either tell Dongho it’s shit or tell him it’s fine and Dongho’s just heard it a billion times too many.

Dongho groaned and looked up with burning eyes. In the reflection of his dark screen, two eyes stared back at him.

Two eyes that weren’t his. Dongho yelped and propelled himself from the computer, his hands curled in front of his chest. It hit him that whatever eyes he’d seen were behind him, and he leaped to his feet and spun around.

Minki was laughing by the end of the whole ordeal, but he had his hands raised. His light brown hair was styled up and out of his face. "I didn't mean to scare you!" he said, though his continuing giggles didn't come across as too apologetic.

“What was that for?” Dongho grumbled. He pressed a hand against his chest and felt his own heart pound.

“I tried to call you,” Minki said. "Like four times." He peered at Dongho, and his lens-less glasses slid down his nose. Dongho looked down and winced at the oblong coffee stain stretched across his gray shirt.

“How much coffee have you had?” Minki leaned sideways far enough to count the empty cups.

Dongho blocked his view. “I need to finish this,” he said. He scrubbed a hand over his face. “Why are you here? Don’t you have to film or something?” Minki was dressed too nicely to be here only for practice.

“Well, I wanted to talk to you,” Minki said. “Now kinda wanna make sure you sleep.”

“I can’t,” Dongho said. “I have to finish.”

Minki frowned. He’d always been a caring friend, and way too damn personable. It had once been rare for Dongho to befriend the artists he created songs for—he preferred other producers, with whom he spent more time and shared more in common.

Minki was the exception. Dongho had produced his debut song years ago, back when both of them were barely past working out of a basement. After Minki’s career took off, Dongho had waited for Minki to move on to a bigger team of producers, but he’d stuck around instead.

Two years ago, Dongho had signed his own contract with Minki’s company. He was now his vocal coach and occasionally worked with their other artists and trainees, and in exchange, Dongho used their equipment and studios at his leisure.

It was a deal Dongho didn't regret, except maybe when Minki used his free reign to break into Dongho's studio.

“Can I hear it?” Minki asked. “Who’s it for?”

“Later,” Dongho said. “And it’s not for you.”

Minki pouted, even though Dongho doubted he’d ever thought it was. They discussed songs together long before this point in the process. The last few times Minki had been involved in both the idea stage and the implementation.

“Why’d you need me anyway?” Dongho asked.

“Oh, right.” Minki crossed his arms, and his chin dropped. “Have you seen Jonghyun? I’m trying to find him.”

“All I’ve seen for the last six hours is this.” Dongho gestured around the studio.

“And now I’m more concerned.”

“I’ll be fine. I’ll sleep in like—six more.”

Minki frowned. “I won’t distract you anymore then,” he said, even though he still made a face at Dongho’s work schedule. “And I guess I’ll call Jonghyun.” With that, he looked even worse, but Dongho really, really couldn’t afford to focus on anything other than this song right now.

He wished he could. Minki wouldn't have come here to look for Jonghyun; he had a hundred better guesses of where Jonghyun would hide than Dongho ever could come up with. He’d come here to talk.

Dongho wished he could help, but all he could do was offer Minki a sympathetic smile and a quiet ‘it’ll be okay’ even though Dongho didn’t know what ‘it’ was. As the door closed behind Minki, he slipped his headphones on and shifted his mouse to wake up the screen.

Twenty minutes later, Dongho got a call from a delivery man that there was takeout outside for him.

Minki really was a great friend. Dongho would have to visit him and see what was up and whether he could help later.

When Dongho returned, takeout container and even one of the bitter herbal teas Minki swore by in hand, his phone was flashing with a missed call. Aaron had left a terse message for Dongho to call him.

It was probably to confirm Dongho would still watch his dogs when Minki went overseas in a couple weeks. As his manager, Aaron would go with him. As Aaron’s clingy (though occasionally helpful) boyfriend, Minhyun was going too.

Dongho didn’t have time to deal with Aaron’s helicopter-parenting. Minhyun had already warned him that Aaron would get like this.

Dongho flipped his phone screen down, though he didn’t close the notification. He didn’t want to forget about it entirely.

Dongho rearranged his workspace to fit his fried chicken and took a breath. Now time to finish this damn song.

\--

No one ever directly told Dongho he fucked up, but he was well aware that he’d escalated a situation he hadn’t even known existed.

Everything started out innocently enough. At this point, Dongho was accepted by Minki’s fans as a personal friend, and as such his Instagram following was no joke. That was a bit weird, and a lot of times Dongho didn’t like it, but it happened. He gained followers like crazy every time he posted a photo with Minki in it, and a lot of them stuck around, even if he only mentioned Minki once in a blue moon.

This particular photo had happened when Dongho darted past their practice room only a few hours before Minki came to see him in his studio. He’d been desperate to move around and do anything other than stare at his computer, and when he’d hit the point of hearing the song even without playing it, Dongho had gone on a walk.

Minki’s preferred practice room had large windows lining one side, and Dongho had stolen a glance in only to laugh. Instead of practicing, Minki and Jonghyun were sprawled on the floor, flat on their backs. Their heads were nearly on top of one another, and while Jonghyun had his knees bent, Minki was stretched out as long as possible. They’d entwined their hands, which were balanced on Jonghyun’s stomach.

Dongho snapped a photo and posted it with a quick “Minki-ya…you call this practice?” He tagged both Jonghyun and Minki.

Then Dongho forgot about it. He knew it got passed around, of course, but he never anticipated the force of it all. A few hours later, and the picture Dongho had taken graced articles on small-time news sites, with headlines like ‘Fans Theorize REN is Dating PLAY Dancer’ or ‘Meet the Choreographer who Captured REN’s Heart.’

It wasn’t the first time people who didn’t know Minki and Jonghyun had gotten suggestive. The two of them went way, way back, and that kind of thing was hard not to notice. People misinterpreted it.

Never like this, though. Dongho had done his best to stave off guilt when he finally learned of the whole thing. He deleted the post like Aaron asked, apologizing for causing him stress. Aaron didn’t imply in the slightest it was Dongho’s fault, but he made it clear he had a mess on his hands.

They were going on tour in only a few weeks, and Jonghyun was Minki’s main male backup dancer. There was more than one choreography that had them in close quarters, and the last thing Minki needed was rumors following him overseas.

Dongho had been paying a lot more attention to Minki’s choreography recently, and admittedly—it wasn’t because of Minki. As the tour grew closer, his backup dancers were there more and more.

Jonghyun was a beautiful dancer. Dongho had never set out to watch him, but he’d accidentally caught him laughing and messing around with a couple of the others. That had led to Dongho shifting his route through the company buildings just a little.

It only went further from there. Dongho had since confirmed that Jonghyun had the prettiest smile, for one. For two, Dongho had determined that Jonghyun’s tendency to spend his breaks sprawled out across a large windowsill was the most endearing thing he’d ever seen.

Today, as Dongho passed that nook, he found Jonghyun curled on his side. It couldn’t have been comfortable; Jonghyun seemed about to fall off the end. He had black sweats and a black hoodie on, the hood pulled up over his head. Were Dongho not so certain no one else laid on windowsills, he wouldn’t have even been able to confirm it was Jonghyun.

Outside, a light drizzle had picked up. It was enough to make the ground reflect the lights of the convenience store below their building. The white lights of cars flashed past.

“Hey, Jonghyun?”

He startled, dangerously close to sliding off the sill. “Ah, you scared me.” His voice was breathless, and he huffed out something like a laugh that lacked his normal energy.

Jonghyun tried on a smile that didn’t quite fit his face and rolled into a sitting position. He slid to one side. Dongho took that as an invitation and joined.

“What’s up?” Jonghyun asked. “You seem tired.”

“I had a deadline to hit yesterday,” Dongho said. He tried and failed to get comfortable on the hard, cold sill. “Took me all night.”

Jonghyun hummed. He looked down at his feet and crossed his ankles, one hand planted on either side of him. “I’m waiting for Minki,” he said. “He got called into a meeting.”

“Hopefully it won’t be long,” Dongho tried, even though he was certain it wasn’t the length that was bothering Jonghyun.

“The company’s going to release a statement that we aren’t dating,” Jonghyun said. “Maybe have Minki say something about it.”

"Wait, really?" The rumors had never warranted company interference before. “I’m sorry about the photo. I didn’t realize it would be such a big deal.”

Jonghyun’s lips curled into a smile, but the worry lines on his face canceled it out. Dongho could almost see the anxiety eating him up, even as he swung his legs gently.

“It’s not your fault,” Jonghyun said. “This has been happening forever. We knew it would come eventually.” Even though his words sounded like empty comfort, like a white lie, his face was earnest. He looked back to his feet, and his smile took on the weight of old memories. “Did you know people used to ask if we were dating in high school? We were both trainees so we spent like all our time together.”

Dongho hadn’t known the first part, but he’d kinda known the latter. Minki had never told him the whole story of how he and Jonghyun had met, but their cacophony of inside jokes and old references clued Dongho in sometimes.

“A lot of it’s my fault,” Jonghyun said. Dongho wondered if he should jump in and insist it wasn’t but ultimately let it go. He’d always been shitty at comforting anyone but his closest friends. “I’m a really touchy person, and so’s Minki, so.”

Yeah, Dongho understood that. Not so much with Jonghyun being touchy, but with Minki himself, yeah. Dongho wouldn’t count himself as a super tactile person but hugging Minki and sitting close to him was almost a given when they spent time together.

“What will you do?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” Jonghyun said. “I can’t hurt Minki’s career, though.” His fingers tightened on the sill, until his knuckles whitened. “Maybe I’ll remake my Instagram and try harder to keep it secret. And if it gets worse, Jun or Minghao could always take over my parts…”

Jonghyun trailed off but his stare only grew more intense. Dongho got the feeling he wasn’t saying any of this for Dongho’s benefit.

“It shouldn’t affect how you are on stage, though.”

Jonghyun blinked up at him, but he didn’t seem angry that Dongho had drawn him out of his own head.

“The company’s not super happy about all this,” Jonghyun admitted. “They’re not about to tell Minki he can’t have friends, obviously. But like. I’m a little worried for my job.” Jonghyun laughed, and it was nothing like the sweet, goofy sound Dongho had learned to expect from him.

“There’s a contract,” Dongho said. “They can’t do anything to you.”

“With PLAY. Not with me. And there’s definitely other dancers just as good as me there.” Jonghyun shrugged. “It wouldn’t be the end of the world, but it would suck.”

“Are they considering that?” Dongho asked. “Minki wouldn’t let them.”

“Minki’s got a pretty good relationship with them. I don’t want me to put that at risk. I’d rather step down if it comes to it, you know?”

Minki would hate that. He’d hate that more than anything. But Jonghyun did have a point. Minki’s company wasn’t awful or anything, but they’d been a small company with modest success until Minki’s career took off, and they certainly milked him for what he was worth and misstepped along the way.

If Dongho had learned anything from watching Minki’s experiences, it was that even if every person was friendly, that didn’t mean the company as a whole was. Sometimes they smiled at Minki in the hallway and told him they didn’t have the resources to focus on his growth as an artist in meetings. It could be beyond frustrating.

Jonghyun had gone back to looking at his feet. “I can’t mess things up for Minki.” There was something vehement in his tone. He _couldn’t_ mess things up for Minki. Dongho wondered just how deep Jonghyun’s feelings for Minki went.

He’d had lots of close friends over the years, but he’d never had a relationship like what Jonghyun and Minki had. It was something special, something Dongho could honestly see blossoming into more, no matter how they both denied it ever would.

Maybe it was only a matter of time for them. The thought stung, but it was a faraway pain. Who was Dongho to get in-between something like that. It had been going on forever.

“Don’t tell Minki about this,” Jonghyun said. "Okay? It'd worry him."

“Okay,” Dongho said, already more stuck in the middle than he wanted. “But it won’t come to that. This’ll pass.”

Dongho hoped, at least.

Jonghyun smiled weakly back.

\--

Dongho’s favorite thing about working with Minki was that he was always fun. He worked hard and was ruthless about practice, but Minki kept a good mood up too.

His least favorite thing was that he’d commit to keeping up a good mood even when he was feeling everything but good. Like it was necessary. Like a single crack would dissolve their entire system.

Minki was worse at hiding his real emotions than he thought he was, at least from his friends. He was doing his absolute best, but his exhaustion and stress had leeched into his face and even his voice. His heart wasn’t in it.

Finally, Dongho stopped playing the piano and peered at Minki, who cut off mid-phrase and frowned.

“What’s wrong?” Dongho asked, even though he had a solid guess.

“I can do this,” Minki said. “Play it again.”

“I know you can,” Dongho said. “But what’s wrong?”

“Nothing new. You’ve already heard me complain about it.”

“Well, complain about it again then.”

Minki sighed. “You don’t mind?”

“I offered.” Dongho smiled, and it was enough to get a small smile back from Minki. Good. He waited for Minki to talk.

Minki slid into the seat next to him and stared at the expanse of white and black keys. A strange sense of déjà vu spilled through Dongho. Somehow he knew what was coming.

“Jonghyun’s been distant,” Minki admitted. And there it was. “He blames himself for things too easily.”

The matter-of-fact statement brought a memory to mind. “Like when he slipped last year.”

“You mean when they made us go out on a wet stage.” Heat sparked in Minki’s voice. Right. Dongho had forgotten just how angry he’d been, insisting that it had been dangerous, that Jonghyun had literally skidded on the stage and _what would they have done if he’d fallen and gotten hurt?_

Minki had been angry at the organizers, but Jonghyun had blamed himself, no matter how many people told him it had been far out of his control.

“Is it still a problem?” Dongho asked. “Your company denied it.”

Minki scrunched up his nose. “Kinda? There are some people who don’t believe it, and there were so many articles about them saying I wasn’t dating anyone that more people know about it now.”

“Are they bothering you?” Dongho furrowed his brow. He’d seen Minki get some nasty comments before. It was rare, but it was awful.

Minki shook his head. “It’s getting to Jonghyun more than me. He might deactivate his insta.”

Dongho hummed. Guilt wrapped its fist around his chest and squeezed. Jonghyun had said more than that. Minki would hate if Jonghyun lost something he liked because of something as dumb as these rumors.

“How has the company been?” Dongho asked.

Minki shrugged. “The usual. They’re not happy, but what can they say?”

“So it’s mainly Jonghyun?”

“He overreacts." Minki rolled his eyes. "If he’s got an opportunity to think something’s his fault, he takes it. The boy would blame himself for a thunderstorm if he could get away with it.”

Minki really did know Jonghyun better than anyone. There was a settled certainty surrounding him as he spoke, and everything he said fit easily with the image of Jonghyun’s personality that Dongho had built in his head.

“I wish there was a way to get him out of this whole mess,” Minki said. “But unless he actually starts dating someone, I don’t see that happening. And the chance of Jonghyun meeting someone is like, sub-zero.”

“You never know?” Dongho said, except it sounded kinda like a question.

“Oh, I know. He finally gave himself a real day off—like completely off, no lessons or choreographing or anything—a couple weeks ago and watched six movies. Six movies. All in one day. Who even does that?”

Dongho laughed at Minki’s strangely indignant tone and increasingly dramatic gestures. “Is he just not interested in dating?” Dongho asked.

Minki shrugged. “Who knows? He certainly doesn’t try and meet anyone.”

Dongho still hadn’t been able to shake his previous thoughts that Jonghyun and Minki might actually have more between them than either realized. This fit, right? Minki wanted Jonghyun to be happy, and Jonghyun wasn’t looking anywhere else for someone.

So Dongho shouldn’t let Minki try and push Jonghyun into anything. That made sense.

“What if Jonghyun just says he’s dating someone?” Dongho asked. “No one will say he isn’t.”

“You’d be surprised.”

“It would make it better though, right?” Dongho asked. “Maybe not long-term, but it’d be something.”

Minki frowned, then nodded once and nodded some more. A smile split across his face. “It would give him something to do to feel like he’s fixing it, at least. Before he does something dumb because he doesn’t want to wait and let it pass on its own. I don’t know who he’d date, though.”

“No one,” Dongho said. “It’s not real.”

“Yeah?” Minki raised his eyebrows. “So he’ll—what? Post that he’s dating someone then never mention them or it again.”

Alright, so maybe Dongho could see the flaws there. He shrugged.

Minki was staring at him. Worse, Minki was staring at him with the distinct look he got on whenever he had an idea. Dongho already wasn’t sure about where this was going.

“What?” he asked.

“Would you do it?”

“…do what?”

“Pretend to date Jonghyun.”

“Me?” Dongho’s eyebrows shot high in the air. “Why me?”

“Why not you?”

“Because—because anyone else would be better,” Dongho said. “What about Bora? They’re together enough anyway.”

Minki waved a hand. “Have you seen those two? If they fake-dated, they wouldn’t be able to look at each other without laughing.”

“They already laugh when they look at each other,” Dongho said. “That’s why it would work?”

“It really wouldn’t,” Minki said. “Besides, they’ve been dancing together forever.”

“So have you and him.”

Minki shook his head. “It won’t work.”

“Fine, then—then… Literally any of the PLAY dancers could do it.”

“Really?” Minki raised his eyebrows. “Soonyoung’s got a girlfriend, Jun would probably forget about it, and Minghao and Jonghyun have known each other for like six years and are still awkward around each other.”

“What about the girls?” Dongho said. “That’s not even half of them.”

“Yoobin and Minji are lesbians, and I can’t see Handong agreeing. She's shy.”

"Jonghyun's shy," Dongho countered. _"I'm_ shy. I still think Bora would be best.”

“She'd walk all over him in a relationship.”

"They're not actually dating?"

"You wouldn't be either, but that's not stopping you from being weird about it."

Dongho frowned. "Minki, I really can’t do this.”

“It’s only a couple photos,” Minki said. “Seriously, it’s perfect. You and Jonghyun never post things anyway so it’s not like you’d need to keep updating it. Just take a handful, call him cute, and that’s that.”

“Jonghyun would never agree.”

“Why not? You’re friends.”

“Are we?” Dongho asked. “I think we're both just close to you.”

“Then I don’t know what you’re doing. Jonghyun’s like the easiest person in the world to befriend.” Minki leaned back on his heels and crossed his arms. “And I bet he'd be bummed if he knew you don’t think of him as a friend.”

“That’s not it!” Dongho said. “Jonghyun—Jonghyun’s great. It’s nothing against him. We just don’t know each other that well.”

It was true, everything Dongho said. He did count Jonghyun as a friend. He’d gotten to know him better recently, and he was glad for it.

But complications had come with getting to know Jonghyun. Dongho liked him a lot, and he was self-aware enough to know what that could mean.

It wasn’t a crush. Dongho developed crushes slowly and normally with a person he knew well. Unrequited feelings weren't his thing, nor was falling hard and fast. It took the push-and-pull of mutual flirting and growing closer to get him truly interested in someone.

And so he didn't have a crush on Jonghyun, but he did think he could develop one. Which would be bad. Because the more Dongho thought about everything, the more he thought he’d only be getting in the way of the inevitable if he pursued Jonghyun.

“Jonghyun wouldn’t want to fake-date me,” Dongho said. Minki tilted his head sideways and leaned over a bit, like he wanted to scrutinize Dongho’s expression. Dongho leaned back, aware his face was burning.

“Why are you being so weird about this?” Minki asked.

“What?”

“Are you seeing someone?”

“No—” And maybe Dongho should’ve lied there, but he was a poor liar and Minki knew him too well anyway—“I just—why are you making me agree to this before you ask Jonghyun?”

“Fine,” Minki said. “Let’s go.” He slipped off the edge of the bench and bounced on the balls of his feet.

“He’s not going to agree.” Dongho let Minki pull him to his feet.

“It’ll only take like two Instagram posts,” Minki said. “It’s not like you’re marrying him. And you’d be doing me a huge favor. Really, Dongho. I’m worried about him.”

“Minhyun should do it,” Dongho said, even though he was actively following Minki. “What else does he do anyway?”

Minki scoffed. “Yeah, Aaron would love that, wouldn’t he?”

“Aaron’s all over you half the time. It can’t be much different.”

“All Aaron posts about is Minhyun, and you want Minhyun to pretend he’s with Jonghyun?”

“He talks about his dogs too?”

Minki rolled his eyes. “C’mon, either give me a good reason you can’t, or let’s go ask Jonghyun now.”

“I—” But Dongho’s reasons had been systematically shot down already. Weakly, he asked, “you really think this’ll help?”

Minki would never be manipulative enough to bring this into it—really, Dongho doubted it had even occurred to him to try—but this was all kind-of Dongho’s fault anyway, wasn’t it?

He owed them something to make up for it. Maybe sucking it up and doing this was exactly that.

Dongho had helped to start all this, and he knew exactly how Jonghyun was overreacting. Even if he hadn’t wanted to be, he was stuck in the middle of everything.

Might as well fuck around and get suffocated in it all.

“Let’s go see what Jonghyun thinks,” he said, and Minki smiled. Relieved. He was relieved.

“He’s going to want to do it,” Minki warned, and yeah, Dongho knew.

That was what scared him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They were really doing this then, huh?

“Huh, so this is where romance goes to die.”

“Don’t you have something better to do?” Dongho asked. Jonghyun had jumped a couple steps away when Minki spoke, and now Minki had his hand clasped over his mouth to bury his laughter, even though it didn’t make anything all that different.

“I had no idea it was possible to look that awkward just holding someone’s hand,” Minki said. He shook his head. “Wow.”

Jonghyun glowered. “I’m with Dongho,” he said. “You have a tour in like, a week. Go practice or something.”

“At least you’re with him for something. I would’ve thought you two never met before.”

It really hadn’t been that bad. Like, okay, maybe he and Jonghyun didn’t look the most comfortable following Minki’s—and Aaron’s—directions, but it wasn’t awful. It was just new. And awkward.

“Besides,” Minki went on. “My vocal coach and my choreographer are too busy dating each other to work with me.”

“Wow Minki, I didn’t know you needed someone to hold your hand through practice,” Aaron said. He didn't bother to look up from his laptop as he said it, but that didn't stop Dongho's laughter.

Minki whirled around with a loud ‘hyung!’ and Jonghyun leaned into Dongho as he laughed too, his hand on Dongho’s shoulder for support.

“And what are you doing?” Minki asked, his voice short. He crossed his arms.

“Sending all the emails. Coordinating all the things. Believe me, you don’t want to know.”

“You’re playing games, right?”

“Absolutely.”

At that, Jonghyun and Dongho laughed harder, and Jonghyun leaned more weight onto Dongho. Minki turned on them, but Dongho was laughing too hard to listen to anything Minki had to say.

Jonghyun had lit up so bright, he might as well have become the sun. He had let his hair grow longer than usual, and now his bangs hung in his eyes. They were nearly closed as he laughed, and his mouth was open. Jonghyun caught Dongho watching, and just like that, the moment ended. The sun dimmed to its normal brilliance; Dongho looked away.

“I got it,” Minki said. He waved the phone and grinned.

“What?” Dongho asked. Jonghyun took his hand off Dongho’s shoulder.

“The photo.” Minki held the phone in Dongho’s face, and he caught Minki’s wrist and pulled it back so he could actually see the photo. Dongho hadn’t realized Minki had taken one at all.

In it, Jonghyun had collapsed onto Dongho’s shoulder. His smile spanned his entire face, and his eyes were laughing. Dongho had his mouth open in laughter, but he was looking at Jonghyun with his eyes crinkled. A pile of unabridged fondness balanced precariously between them.

“It’s perfect, right?” Minki said, when Dongho didn’t manage to summon the same level of enthusiasm. “You look totally into him.”

Jonghyun grabbed the phone so he could see, and all he said was “It looks good,” before he passed Dongho's phone back. That was a good thing, Dongho reminded himself.

“Post it and say something nice about him,” Minki said. “Nothing else. It can’t be too much the first time.”

“I thought it was only going to be one time,” Dongho protested weakly, but Minki paid him no mind.

He opened Instagram. Jonghyun had leaned in close to watch him, and Dongho had the strange urge to tilt his phone away so Jonghyun couldn’t see. But they were organizing this together. That would be dumb.

Dongho stared at the blank caption, and Jonghyun didn’t give him any ideas.

“What should I write?” Dongho asked finally. He looked at Jonghyun, then Minki. “Isn’t this weird? I never post things like this.”

“It’ll be fine,” Minki said.

“Are you sure you shouldn’t post it?” he asked Minki. “You took it.”

“I am so banned from mentioning anything related to Jonghyun right now, you have no idea,” Minki said. He shook his head but also smiled; Minki liked to have an ‘eventually it’ll be funny’ outlook when misfortunate things happened. Neither Dongho nor Jonghyun managed to really smile back.

“How do you normally do things like this?” Jonghyun asked.

“I just post things I like. Or things that are funny.”

“With relationships, I mean. I don’t really ever post about them, but I barely post anything so.”

“I did a year anniversary post once?” Dongho frowned at his phone and scrolled through his Instagram. Normally, he didn’t put much thought into captions and things like that at all.

“Oh my god.” Minki snatched Dongho’s phone right from his hands.

“Wait, Minki!” Dongho reached for it, but Minki twisted his shoulders away. Dongho’s relief that someone else was handling this warred with his fear that they were actually going through with this.

“Don’t post it,” Jonghyun said.

"Don't worry," Minki said. He typed something. "I didn't." When he passed Dongho's phone back, Jonghyun leaned over to read what he'd written.

The caption was surprisingly anti-climactic: a couple hearts and a smiley face.

“There,” Minki said with flourish. “Just post that.”

Dongho was quickly running out of reasons that he couldn’t. He exchanged a wide-eyed look with Jonghyun.

They were really doing this then, huh?

Dongho did it. Then he scrolled to the top of his page, and there it was. Him, and Jonghyun, and the fondness on Dongho’s face, all preserved online forever.

“There,” Minki said. He brushed invisible dust off his hands. “Now that that’s taken care of.”

The photo was already getting likes and comments and everything. Dongho got a notification that Aaron liked it.

An odd, nervous laugh burst from Jonghyun’s lips. “I guess we just announced our relationship,” he said.

Before Dongho could respond, Minki did.

“Oh no, that’s another day.” Minki bumped his shoulder into Jonghyun’s. “But hey, at least now people know you two know each other.”

\--

Dongho wasn’t exactly sure when or why everything had turned into Minki and Aaron coaching him and Jonghyun on their fake relationship, but Minki seemed to take it seriously. Of course, Jonghyun did too, and Dongho did his best to follow along. It wasn’t like Dongho had expected it to be as simple as Minki had pretended anyway—‘just a couple pictures and that’s that.’ Yeah right.

At least Jonghyun seemed okay with all of it. Minki had been right: as soon as Jonghyun had had something to do to stop his wallowing, he seemed in better spirits. That was what kept pushing Dongho through with it, despite the discomfort he couldn’t quite shake.

Of course, the first thing Jonghyun had said was that he didn’t want to do anything outside of Dongho’s comfort range. Dongho kept swearing he’d tell Jonghyun to call it off. Really. In fact, he hadn’t even meant to agree in the first place. Jonghyun wouldn't have pushed him like Minki had.

It was just that Jonghyun had had this hopeful look on, all big eyes and relief that he’d get to do something to make everything better, and Dongho couldn't say no.

And now it was happening.

And Dongho couldn’t forget it was happening, because it kept bleeding into everything he was doing. Even here, a small celebration Dongho and Bumzu (mainly Bumzu) had organized to celebrate finishing their last huge project. They were at Bumzu's apartment, as he had the most space, but he'd passed out on the couch a half-hour ago. Dongho didn't blame him.

Admittedly, Jonghyun probably would’ve been invited even if all this wasn’t happening. Minki had been, of course, and so had Aaron, who’d brought Minhyun. Bumzu was close with a few other of the PLAY dancers, primarily the girls who dabbled in composing songs. So a lot of people who inhabited Jonghyun’s circles were here, and it made sense that Jonghyun would come too.

But it was new that Jonghyun would come straight up to him, and even newer that he’d start the conversation by asking if Dongho had gotten as many questions about their picture as he had.

“It’s just funny, right?” Jonghyun stood closer to Dongho than usual, possibly so he wouldn’t have to yell over the music. He had a plastic cup in his hand, with some dark mixed drink inside. Dongho’s own cup only contained soda. “Like, people actually care if we’re together.”

“Have you answered any of them?”

Jonghyun shook his head. “I don’t want to get more. And I don’t want to say anything about that stuff without you.”

“That’s a good idea,” Dongho said. “It’s probably better not to. You should focus on the tour anyway.”

“I didn’t realize you weren’t coming on that, you know,” Jonghyun said. He pursed his lips the slightest amount, and it was almost a pout.

Dongho pointedly tried not to find it endearing. “Why would I?” he asked.

“I guess,” Jonghyun said, but he made it clear he didn’t like it. “But you said you’ve got next week off, yeah?”

Dongho had taken two weeks off after this deadline. It was his first break in way, way long, and he hadn’t decided what he’d do during it. Not yet, at least. “I might still go in and work on stuff,” he admitted. “I’ve got some id—”

“No, you can’t,” Jonghyun said. “That’s like—you should take actual time off if you need it, you know?”

“I enjoy it,” Dongho said. “It’s one of my favorite things to do.” He’d said the same thing before, when he hadn’t planned on much of a break at all, only for his friends to push him towards one.

“Still, you have to relax a while too. Otherwise you’ll burn out.”

“Minki says you never take breaks either,” Dongho accused.

“Minki worries about me too much,” Jonghyun said. “Anyway, you should come. On the tour. It’d be a vacation, and besides, it'd be good if one of Minki’s fans sees us out in public together. Like on a date or something.”

Oh. Of course that was why Jonghyun wanted him to come to Japan with them. Dongho took a sip of his drink so he wouldn’t have to answer. The soda reminded him that he didn’t like sweet things all that much.

“You and Minki go really far back, right?” Dongho asked, even though he was well aware that was true and well aware it wasn’t the cleanest change in subject.

Maybe it was to remind himself that he had no reason to feel put-out that Jonghyun was only in this to help Minki. Maybe it was to remind his heart that Jonghyun was not going to be his. Ever.

“Since we were, like, fourteen? I think?” Jonghyun squinted like he was trying to see the past. “He saved my life,” Jonghyun said, and he almost managed to make it sound grave before he laughed. “Not really. But I was really lonely till I met him.”

Before Dongho could come up with a response to that, Minhyun appeared. He had his own cup, but Dongho knew better than to think it was anything but water.

“Hey, Aaron’s trying to start a drinking game. You guys should join.” The music tried its hardest to bury his words, and by the time Dongho comprehended them, Jonghyun had already agreed. Clearly, he didn't need convinced.

“I’ll pass,” Dongho said. Drinking games were usually a lot less fun when you weren't drinking.

“C’mon,” Minhyun said. “I need someone else who’s not drinking.”

“It won’t be any fun without you,” Jonghyun added, and if it was his pleading eyes that convinced Dongho, well, he didn’t have to admit that.

“Maybe for a little,” Dongho said.

“Great! Let’s get over there before Aaron decides that since we’re not drinking alcohol, we should have to drink something gross instead,” Minhyun said.

Aaron was, actually, midway through trying to find something gross and nonalcoholic for Minhyun and Dongho. Thankfully, it didn’t take much effort to convince him their current drinks were fine.

Dongho hoped Jonghyun would stay by his side, since apparently this wouldn’t be fun without him, but Jonghyun split off to sit next to Minki, who slid an arm around him as though it was the easiest thing in the world. Dongho ended up between Minhyun and Bora.

They’d selected a game more geared towards having a good time than getting as many people as drunk as possible, and it consisted of a deck of prompts and a whole bunch of instructions for what different cards entailed. There was a lot of pointing at people for various superlatives (Dongho won ‘worst sleep habits’ which he didn't deserve, considering Bumzu prompted most of their all-nighters) and different questions and answers, ranging from inane to odd (apparently Jonghyun’s first pet was a potato).

Eventually, the number of people playing dwindled, until it was just the five of them. At some point, Minki had gotten him and Jonghyun new drinks, and now Jonghyun leaned against Minki.

Dongho had more Minhyun in his space than he would’ve liked, but Minhyun was giggling and clearly having too good of a time for Dongho to shove him off.

Aaron drew a superlative. Most beautiful.

Dongho pointed towards Jonghyun, and he didn’t even think it was weird until Jonghyun blinked, seemingly confused about the direct line from Dongho's eyes to his finger to Jonghyun's face. Before he could say anything, Dongho adjusted his finger so it pointed at Minki. The motion was natural, and Jonghyun bought it, and of course Minki got announced as the winner. Aaron and Minhyun started bickering because neither of them had chosen the other and_ babe, you’re supposed to think I’m the most beautiful._

Dongho looked at Jonghyun. Jonghyun didn't look back. Minki was 'whispering' something loud enough for Dongho to hear into Jonghyun's ear, and Jonghyun seemed to take listening very seriously.

Maybe Dongho could have gotten away with not making things weird that night, but then Minki realized it was his turn and drew the next card--a question.

“For anyone dating, be completely honest: how happy are you with your relationship?” Minki read.

Dongho felt Minhyun shift as he prepared to answer. Only he and Aaron were in a relationship, after all. Aaron said something sappy about Minhyun, who seemed pleased, and Minhyun said something equally sweet back. They all groaned then. Aaron saying stuff like that might be rare, but Minhyun got sentimental over the dumbest of things and at any opportunity he could find.

Dongho waited for the next card, but then Minki turned to Dongho.

“So how happy are you with Jonghyun?” he asked, and already, everyone was laughing. Because Dongho and Jonghyun weren’t really together, and this was a joke. It wasn't meant to be serious. Minhyun’s laughter was loud in Dongho’s ear.

“I, uh,” Dongho said. “Is this really necessary? We’re not together.” He couldn’t look at Minki without also seeing Jonghyun, still with his head on Minki's shoulder.

“Are you saying you don’t like Jonghyun?” Minhyun asked.

“I didn’t say that." For that, Dongho finally shoved Minhyun off him. Minhyun grumbled about it as he slid back towards Aaron instead.

“Fine, then Jonghyun, what about you?” Minki shrugged the shoulder Jonghyun’s head was on.

Jonghyun pulled himself off Minki to answer, and unlike Dongho, he didn't seem to mind the question. “I’m very happy,” he said. “Dongho’s the best.”

A million tiny bubbles burst in Dongho’s stomach like the carbonated soda he’d drunk wanted him to remember it. He tried to decide whether the feeling was good or nausea-inducing.

\--

Dongho had almost gotten used to it. Jonghyun had posted a photo of Dongho, and they didn’t even need a pep team this time. Now, they were sitting together in a small café, sipping coffee. Jonghyun had a mask pulled down over his chin and a cap on. Despite the summer warmth, he wore a long-sleeve white shirt.

“I still think you should come with us to Japan,” Jonghyun was saying. “It’s perfect. You’ve got the entire time off, and the tickets aren’t too expensive.” 

“You guys already booked the hotels and everything,” Dongho said. “It’s late notice.”

“Yeah, but you like spur-of-the-moment stuff.”

Dongho had told him that the other day. He liked that Jonghyun remembered. “I’m watching Aaron’s dogs during it. They’d have to find someone else to do it, if I went.”

“Aaron has other friends,” Jonghyun said. “Joel would take them the minute he asked.”

That was probably true. Dongho wrapped both his hands around his paper cup. It heated his fingers, even through the cardboard sleeve.

“I’ll think about it,” he said, finally. It would be fun to see Japan.

Jonghyun’s face lit up. "We'll have lots of free time," Jonghyun said. "Minki's filming, like, everything while he's there so--"

“That wasn't me agreeing,” Dongho clarified, even though he was getting a lot closer to a yes than before.

Jonghyun made an acknowledging sound but left it at that.

“How’s practice been?” Dongho asked, unsure how else to fill the silence. They'd already talked about Jonghyun's work schedule; Dongho had worried these meetings were taking too much sleep from Jonghyun right before the tour. Apparently, however, the long hours were hardly worse than usual. It was just lots of one thing, rather than some of many things, according to Jonghyun. He'd put his other projects on pause for the time being.

“I’ve had dreams about dancing the past three nights and didn’t, like, realize I wasn’t wearing pants or something in any of them, so that’s a good sign.”

“Does that happen a lot?”

“The pants thing? Only in my subconscious. Or if you mean the dreams in general, then yes. At least when I’m practicing this much.” Jonghyun made a face. He only had a couple hours before he had to go practice again, and he'd probably wouldn't get out until 2 or 3 in the morning. “You’re lucky you can’t dream about your work.”

“Do you dream about the choreographing too? Or just dancing?”

Jonghyun hummed. “All of it?”

“Which do you like better?”

“How am I supposed to answer that?” Jonghyun asked. “Do you like music or making music better?”

Dongho saw his point. “Have you ever composed anything?”

Jonghyun scoffed. “No way. I’m much better at dancing than any of that. I can’t even sing.”

It sounded like there was a ‘but’ coming, and Dongho tried to wait it out. He liked learning more about Jonghyun.

“I write lyrics sometimes though,” Jonghyun admitted.

“Really?” Dongho preferred the music-side of things to the words-side, but he certainly appreciated good lyrics when he heard them. “Have you ever put them to music?”

Jonghyun shook his head. “I don’t show them to anyone either,” he said, almost like a warning, so Dongho wouldn’t ask. Dongho got that; writing was personal sometimes. “If I don’t show anyone then I don’t have to worry about if they’re any good, and I can just keep writing them.”

“I bet they’re great,” Dongho said, and he normally wouldn’t say something like that, but it wasn’t meant as false comfort. Dongho really thought they were probably good. The more Jonghyun showed Dongho how his mind worked, the more Dongho appreciated it.

Jonghyun made a noncommittal noise. “What about you? Do you ever dance?”

Dongho shook his head.

“You should learn how sometime. I’ll teach you!” Jonghyun’s eyes lit up.

“I’d be bad at it.”

“You wouldn’t be,” Jonghyun said.

“How about you learn how to sing instead?” Dongho asked. “Then you could sing your lyrics.”

Jonghyun laughed. “Actually, I’m hopeless. You have no idea.”

“What about piano then? I’ve got a keyboard in my apartment. And we can walk there from here.”

“Aren’t you taking a break from music?” Jonghyun asked. “Okay, okay, fine. Don't make that face. But only to prove I won't be any good at it.”

“We’ll see,” Dongho said. His cheeks stung, and he realized he was grinning.

Dongho’s keyboard was old. Like, way old. And sometimes a couple of the keys stuck, and it had had a rather unfortunate amount of things spilled on it over the years.

Still, he was super attached to it, and it was nice to see Jonghyun also appreciating it. Jonghyun ran his fingers over the keys, and he seemed to like the feeling of them because he kept doing that. He didn’t press the keys hard enough to make sound—the first time Dongho hadn’t even turned the keyboard on—but Dongho gave him time to mess with it.

Jonghyun was sitting to Dongho’s left, toward the lower range of the piano. When he finally pressed a key harder, it made a low, resounding G. Jonghyun pulled his hand back, as though surprised, and Dongho tried not to laugh.

“Here,” Dongho said. “Put your hand like this.” He set his hand so his right thumb was on a C. Jonghyun copied him.

“Like this?” Jonghyun looked over at Dongho. Dongho chose to focus on his own hand rather than Jonghyun’s earnest eyes.

“This is a C Major scale.” Dongho played each note.

Slowly, Jonghyun repeated it back.

An hour later, not long before Jonghyun had to leave, Dongho took a video of him playing a simple, one-handed melody. Jonghyun messed up a note and then caught Dongho filming. The melody cut off as he blocked the camera's view with his hands. He protested for Dongho to not film him.

In the end, Dongho didn’t post the video—but he did save it. And maybe that was worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i kept my promise of slow updates but well, hope you enjoyed!!


	3. Confirmation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was almost too easy to pretend it was real.

The Japan Tour was seven days long and included three cities, and of course Dongho agreed to go in the end. It wasn’t because of Jonghyun. Minki had gotten super excited that Dongho planned to come, and he needed a break from work.

So yeah. It wasn’t because of Jonghyun, even if they did plan to announce their ‘relationship’ the day they left for the trip.

Dongho had managed to squeeze an agreement from his brother to check up on Dongho’s apartment a couple times over the week. In return, Donghwan squeezed out two different meals from Dongho—and already was gunning for a third.

He had always been like that. Dongho drew the line when Donghwan asked to use Dongho's car while he was away. He also refused to let him anywhere near his keyboard.

“Why are you leaving again?” Donghwan asked. They were in Dongho’s apartment, and Donghwan was quickly familiarizing himself with the small space.

“It’s a vacation.”

“For a week? Have you ever spent that long not working before?”

“All the more reason for a trip."

Dongho was also taking his laptop. He couldn’t do as much on it as in his studio, of course, but he could do some things there. Dongho didn’t plan on doing any work, but well, sometimes inspiration struck when he least expected it.

“Are you going with anyone?” Donghwan asked, and Dongho could practically hear him assuming all the wrong things. “Is it that guy?”

“That guy?” Dongho echoed. He hated that he was already thinking about Jonghyun.

“Yeah, the one that’s made you be active online for the first time in your life. Are you going with him?”

“It’s not like that.”

“So you are?”

“I’m going with Minki—Ren, I mean. He’s got a tour.”

Donghwan laughed. "So it _is_ for work?"

“Do you have to ask so many questions? I just want you to water my plants and make sure everything’s fine here.”

“Hey, I’m allowed to have questions. You’re not acting like yourself. I’m looking out for my older brother.”

“You’re trying to stall long enough that I have to take you out for another meal.”

“That’s just the added bonus of making sure you’re okay, hyung.”

“Get out of here,” Dongho said. “I’ll take you out again when I get back. I have to pack tonight.”

“A little longer,” Donghwan said. He was in Dongho’s kitchen, and now he opened the fridge. “Nice beer, hyung.” He grabbed one and popped the tab, then sat at Dongho’s counter.

Dongho didn’t bother to protest. It was too late; his brother would be annoying for the rest of his life. Dongho had enough other things to coordinate. He’d agreed to meet Jonghyun and some of the other dancers for breakfast tomorrow. They normally used a park and ride service for the airport to split costs, and had invited Dongho to join them.

He and Jonghyun were also supposed to post something that confirmed they were dating tomorrow. Dongho had already agreed—and really, they were too far into this for him to back out now—but his brother had reminded him that a lot of people outside the situation would see what they posted. Dongho would probably get congratulatory messages and replies and everything. Somehow he hadn’t foreseen that.

“Hyung, you should tell mom soon,” Donghwan said. He’d done that thing where he switched to being serious without warning. It always gave Dongho whiplash.

“Tell mom what?”

“That you’re dating someone. She’d be happy for you—you know she worries.”

“We can’t all date the same girl since high school.” Donghwan’s fiancée had even waited for him through his military service. Dongho was glad everything worked out so well between them. He liked Yoonsun a lot.

“Yeah, but now you are dating that guy, right?”

Dongho didn’t know what to say. His brother was the same kind of straightforward person as Dongho himself. The difference was that Dongho spent enough time around Minki and other people who needed to keep an image that he’d learned it sometimes was too important to ignore.

His brother wouldn’t understand, and it was too long to explain anyway.

“It’s new. I’m not sure where it’ll go,” Dongho said. The words made his heart flutter. He rarely lied to Donghwan.

For a second, Dongho did exactly what he shouldn’t and let himself pretend it was real. Donghwan would be happy for him, and his mom would adore Jonghyun—he was polite and kind and caring. She’d offer him entire boxes of Jeju tangerines, just like she always did for Yoonsun.

They’d stay for a few days, and Dongho would show Jonghyun around. The Jeju sun had a way of brightening people like nowhere else could. Jonghyun would be...

Donghwan's laughter startled Dongho from his fantasy. What was he doing?

“I hope it goes good, for your sake,” Donghwan said. “You’re in real deep.”

“I’m not!” Dongho protested. “It’s fine. It’s just, it’s casual right now.” It was nonexistent, and Dongho could deal with that.

“Keep telling yourself that. Hey, at least he’s gotta like you a lot to take so many pictures with you. Seriously, I know it’s not you that wants to post those.”

Dongho’s entire face was burning. “He’s just…”

“See, you’ve got nothing to worry about.”

Dongho was still struggling to shake the image of Jonghyun under the Jeju sun from his head.

“You know what this calls for?” Donghwan said. “A celebratory beer.” He swung open Dongho's fridge door and took another.

\--

Dongho had more experience in an airport than most, mainly because visiting his mom required flying. Still, it was more fun to go with a group rather than alone. Dongho didn’t add too much to the conversation, but the dancers were as lively as ever.

They’d just checked their bags when Jonghyun spotted Handong and Minji, who’d come separately, and they joined the girls as all nine went through security. Not too much later, they reached the gate with a chunk of time to spare.

Dongho messed around on his phone, even though the airport wifi wasn’t all that great. Minki and Aaron would arrive a little later. Minki had to greet fans and take photos and all that before actually getting inside the airport.

“Hey, Dongho, you want coffee? We’re getting some,” Bora asked. Jonghyun was already on his feet with her, as were a couple of the others.

“Sure, I’ll come.” Dongho shuffled his bag off his lap.

“Nah, let your boyfriend buy it for you.” She gave Jonghyun a small shove with her shoulder when he made a face at her.

“No, I’ll--I'll come," Dongho said. As he stood up, his phone slipped off his lap and landed with a thud.

“Suit yourself,” Bora said. “But if I was you I’d take advantage of the honeymoon phase.” She could barely get through it all without giggling.

“You're hilarious,” Jonghyun said. He had a black cap on and pulled his mask down under his chin as he spoke. Doing so revealed his red cheeks. “Now can we get coffee?”

“You deserve this for—”

“Okay! Let’s go.” Jonghyun's cheeks reddened further, and he hurried ahead of them.

The walk wasn’t too bad, but the line was another story. Still, eventually they had coffee and were on their way back. Jonghyun moved over to Dongho’s side during it—for the first time. He’d refused to so much as look at Dongho while in line.

“Bora thrives off chaos,” Jonghyun said. Dongho wasn’t sure whether it was an explanation or an apology.

“It’s fine."

They settled back at the gate in silence. By then, Minki and Aaron had also gotten there, though both sat away from the others.

“So what do you want to do in Japan?” Jonghyun asked.

“Eat good food,” Dongho said. “Go cool places.”

“That’s specific. No places in particular?”

“Not yet.” Dongho never struggled to fill the days when he traveled, and never walked away feeling like he missed out if he just went all the directions he felt like.

“Just don’t talk to Minhyun about it. He’ll drag you off someplace, and it’ll be the prettiest thing you’ve ever seen, but then he’ll take pictures of it for an hour and you’ll just have to wait for him there the whole time.”

Dongho wanted to ask for the full story there, whether there was much more to it or not, but he restrained himself.

“I forget to take photos of where I go," he admitted.

“I want to take more this trip,” Jonghyun said. “Maybe we can remind each other.”

Dongho was saved from having to respond by the first boarding call. Families and people who required assisted entry approached the door.

“Oh, also you should, uh—“Jonghyun leaned in close—“at least like the thing I posted about you.”

“You posted something?”

Jonghyun couldn’t seem to look at him for too long. “We said we’d confirm it today, right?”

“Oh, right. Yeah. Yeah, I’ll like it and post mine too.”

Dongho opened the notification, but his phone failed to load it. He gave it time and clicked the heart the second he could. Nothing else would load. 

Dongho wasn’t going to have time to write his own post before they asked passengers to turn off their phones. Besides, it probably wouldn’t be good for him to see whatever Jonghyun had said about him right before a two-hour flight where he couldn’t distract himself too much. He’d already let himself get too caught up in how easy it was to imagine him and Jonghyun actually building a relationship.

“I’ll look when we land,” Dongho said. “I don’t want to rush through writing mine.”

More like Dongho had no idea what to say, but he didn’t want to tell Jonghyun that.

“We didn’t take any pictures for it, though,” Dongho said, a second later. “Where’d you get the photo from?”

“You’ll see,” Jonghyun said, just as they called their boarding group. His eyes sparkled. “You’ll like it,” he promised.

Dongho was sure he would, and also was sure that that was his biggest problem.

The hotel was very internationally styled and not far from the airport. It was also massive. Were it Dongho choosing the places they stayed, this wouldn’t have even been on his radar. He liked the smaller places, where he could ask the people who worked there where he should visit and get an answer other than big chains or common touristy places.

Unfortunately, smaller hotels couldn’t ensure the same level of security as ones like this. The hotel was also near the venue. Dongho wouldn’t be surprised if some of the other guests were fans who’d flown in for Minki’s concert. It had been a long time since he’d performed in Nagoya.

Minhyun joined Aaron at the concierge’s desk. It made sense once he spoke some easy Japanese to the woman working there. Dongho hadn’t realized he could speak it so well, and he watched them talk like he could understand the conversation past a word here and there.

Around when Aaron passed the woman a credit card, Dongho lost interest. He scanned the lobby some more—a man who seemed half-asleep in the corner. A woman with a briefcase and a steaming cup of complementary coffee, even though it was nearly nine.

As he turned back toward their group, he caught Jonghyun pointing his phone at Dongho. Jonghyun lowered it immediately and sent Dongho this awkward, almost apologetic smile.

“Are you posting something else?” Dongho asked. He still hadn’t looked at what Jonghyun posted earlier. He hoped Jonghyun didn’t pick up on how he was avoiding the whole thing.

“Oh uh—I wasn’t going to,” Jonghyun said. “I just—thought you looked nice. I wanted to take that.”

“Sorry,” Jonghyun added.

Dongho’s heart was pounding. "No, it's fine," he insisted. "Take--take whatever photos you want."

“I guess I can post it?” Jonghyun offered. “You look good in it.” He turned the phone, but Dongho wasn’t interested in the photo.

“No! You can just…keep it.”

“Hey, Jonghyun, Dongho.” Minhyun had a little envelope with some writing on it. “Here are your room keys. Jonghyun, we’re meeting at ten to talk about the schedule.”

“We’re rooming together?” Dongho had reached for the envelope, but now he froze while both he and Minhyun held it. Minhyun let go and left without answering. Dongho nearly dropped the key.

He had expected Minhyun to leave him out of this and let him approach the desk next to ask if there were available rooms. They hadn’t talked about the additional hotel costs.

“Oh no, I forgot to tell you,” Jonghyun said. “I hope you don’t mind.”

Dongho did mind.

“I figured you’d want to room with someone you at least kinda know,” Jonghyun went on.

“I could have bought my own.”

“Yeah, but I convinced you to come on this trip. The least I could do was figure out how to shuffle rooms so you don’t have to pay as much.”

“Minki asked me to come too,” Dongho protested. He did not come for Jonghyun. “And I wanted a break from work.”

“If you talk to the desk, they might be able to change it,” Jonghyun said. Dongho looked back toward the desk, but they were now taking care of a family, complete with a baby who looked seconds away from wailing.

“It’s fine,” Dongho said. “It’s only two nights.”

In Tokyo, he’d make sure they got separate rooms. That way, he wouldn’t impinge on Jonghyun’s space too much, and Dongho would be able to keep his sanity.

They’d waited long enough that most of the others had already gone up toward their rooms, and the walk to their room was quiet, even subdued. They put their stuff down, and Jonghyun ran through the shower, while Dongho claimed his bed—the further from the window. Their window faced east, and Dongho bet they’d see a nice sunrise tomorrow.

Jonghyun headed down for the meeting, and Dongho laid down for a bit. He was groggy from the flight, but it was too early to sleep yet.

He still had to post something about Jonghyun. Dongho opened Instagram, and this time, Jonghyun’s post loaded easily.

Jonghyun had managed to get a picture of Dongho at breakfast. In the photo, Dongho was blissfully unaware and mid-way through a laugh. His chopsticks were in one hand, and he had a little sauce on his lips.

Dongho almost didn’t want to read the caption. It seemed like such a fond choice of a picture. Dongho had imagined they’d do some other fake photos of them holding hands or something. He hadn’t thought Jonghyun would take more photos of him than he had to.

_“Dongho-ya, I’m glad we’ve finally gotten to know each other. You’re very friendly, you know. I feel like I can talk to you about anything. You already know this, but I really like you.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oof it's been forever but i hope you liked this chapter and with any luck the next chapter will be a lot quicker. thanks for all kudos and comments!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dongho remembered when he wrote these lyrics. They hadn’t been about Jonghyun. He’d hardly even known Jonghyun back then.
> 
> Now, as Minki sang about a lover he didn’t want to lose, Dongho realized it could be about Jonghyun now.

Dongho had a nice seat for Minki’s concert. The night before, Jonghyun had relayed the schedule briefly after he’d returned from their meeting. Like Dongho had expected, Jonghyun and all the others involved in the concert were leaving early for the venue. They’d practice there until the start of it that evening. 

Dongho had arrived much later. His seat was to the left of the stage, and he was surrounded by the chattering of fans and then the anticipating hush when the lights darkened, followed by cheers as the back of the stage opened, and Minki stepped through, along with a whole spread of fog. 

He had on a flowy white shirt, and the screens zoomed in on his face. Minki was ethereal, with the silver smoke and the silver jewelry and the darkened eyes. His stare was hard, charismatic, so different from the everyday-Minki Dongho was used to. Dongho had seen pictures, of course, but in-person was different. 

He was glad he’d come. Even if the girl next to him had recognized him and even taken a not-so-surreptitious picture of him. Of course now, her eyes were stuck fast on Minki, as they should be.

Dongho also watched Minki--until the backup dancers all joined Minki. They were all in black--black jeans, black t-shirts, black caps. Despite that, it was so easy to find Jonghyun. In the grand pause before the first song, Jonghyun stood to Minki's left, slightly in front of him. His hands were behind his back, his head tilted down. And then the song began, and Jonghyun danced sharply and fluidly and somehow without taking the audience's focus away from Minki.

Dongho was glad he had come. Not because of Jonghyun--not _only_ because of Jonghyun-- but also because hearing the songs he'd composed performed live like this was like one-shotting a Red Bull, heart palpitations and all. 

But no matter where he looked, he kept finding Jonghyun. From his seat and without the camera’s focus on Jonghyun, Dongho couldn’t make out anything on his face. That didn’t make him any less captivating.

Dongho had seen Jonghyun dance before. He’d used to enjoy taking an extra minute or two to watch the dancers through the window looking in the practice room. Compared to this, that was listening to music through earbuds with one side broken. Backup dancers weren’t meant to take over the stage—and Minki did that all on his own anyway—but that didn't make Jonghyun any less enchanting. 

And when Jonghyun and Bora danced together later, as Minki sat on a stool on the other side of the stage and sang his heart out, the camera caught a few close-ups of Jonghyun. His stage expression was one Dongho had never seen him make before. His face was as powerful and intimate as the dance itself, as Jonghyun pulled Bora in close, like they were about to kiss. 

Dongho remembered when he wrote these lyrics. They hadn’t been about Jonghyun. He’d hardly even known Jonghyun back then.

Now, as Minki sang about a lover he didn’t want to lose, Dongho realized it could be about Jonghyun now.

Later on, Minki took the chance to thank all his dancers and staff and everyone involved in the concert. It was right before he took the time to talk to fans and answer a few questions they had submitted earlier.

A fan requested he dance to a Lady Gaga song, and clearly, this particular fan request had been planned, because Poker Face started playing over the speakers right as Minki finished reading the post-it note. He dragged Jonghyun into dancing with him, and once again the cameras caught Jonghyun’s face.

He looked so happy up there with Minki.

Jealousy would be a lot easier if Dongho wasn't so certain they both deserved happiness. 

REN IN NAGOYA @reninparadise  
omg im sitting next to kang dongho?????  
78 rts 243 likes

REN IN NAGOYA @reninparadise  
MINKI WAS SO GOOD  
5 rts 56 likes

REN IN NAGOYA @ reninparadise  
HES EVERYTHING IVE EVER WANTED???? @officialren pls marry me I love u  
1 rts 24 likes

REN IN NAGOYA @reninparadise  
replying @officialren  
YOU DID GREAT BABY I LOVE U  
0 rts 3 likes

REN IN NAGOYA @reninparadise  
HE MADE JONGHYUN DANCE TO LADY GAGA WITH HIM FDKGJFKJG  
32 rts 98 likes

REN IN NAGOYA @reninparadise  
omg dongho was soooo cute he stared at jonghyun the entire time !!!!!!  
102 rts 489 likes

REN IN NAGOYA @reninparadise  
he wasn’t kidding when he said he could watch jonghyun dance for hours :(((  
7 rts 109 likes

Jonghyun still had some light makeup on when Dongho saw him next. They were on their way outside, and Jonghyun had changed back into jeans and a white t-shirt with a small logo on the front. He'd clearly washed his face since they'd finished; the last shot that caught Jonghyun's face had shown him dripping with sweat. Dongho wondered if he'd been careless removing his makeup or if he'd put more on for some reason.

“Hey, Dongho,” Jonghyun said. He’d been kind enough to let Dongho stutter through a compliment with only a proud, fond grin on his face, then dropped it easy enough. “Go out with me.”

“What?” 

“To a bar. Or a club.”

“You’ve spent the entire day dancing, and now you want to do more?”

“I’m too hyped to sleep.” Sure enough, Jonghyun was bouncing on his toes. "I can never sleep after concerts. Might as well do something fun instead."

They pushed through the doors to the outside, and the humidity washed over them. Dongho missed the air conditioning already. 

Jonghyun groaned. “It's the beginning of June. It shouldn't be this hot already.” 

“Climate change," Dongho said. Jonghyun ignored him.

Jonghyun took his water bottle and dumped the rest left over his head. It soaked into his shirt and turned the area around his collar bones transparent. Some rogue droplets lingered on his neck. Dongho was vaguely aware that he was staring. 

Jonghyun leaned over and shook his head. His wet hair whipped around and before it could stick to his forehead, he ran his fingers through it to push it back. Water still clumped in his eyelashes, and he raised an eyebrow at Dongho.

“Well, do you want to?”

“…want to do what?

“Go out!” 

“I’m not really in the mood.” Dongho was in the mood for a lot of things with Jonghyun right now, but none of them were going to happen, and a crowded club was not where Dongho wanted to be in this particular mood. Especially not when it was a crowded club and then a hotel room with Jonghyun as his roommate. 

“C’mon,” Jonghyun said. He wrapped an arm around Dongho’s shoulder, and the now-warmed water soaked into the back of Dongho’s shirt. “It’s almost my birthday. Come celebrate with me.” 

“I bet your birthday is three months away or something.” 

“Four days.” 

“Wait, really?” 

“Yeah, you feel bad now, don’t you? My own fake-boyfriend doesn’t know my birthday. Make it up to me by going out with me.”

“Are you always like this after you get off stage?” Dongho asked, and Jonghyun squeezed him in closer. He seemed to know to take that as a ‘yes.’

“I told you,” Jonghyun said. “I’m energized.” 

Dongho was going to regret this. 

They found a club with neon purple gleaming out from under the bar, with bottles lined up against the mirror in the back. The bartenders were quick with the drinks, and the music was loud. Jonghyun ordered a shot for both of them, then got all pouty when Dongho turned it down. He took both himself, in quick succession. 

Jonghyun got another drink before they left the bar area. Rum and coke. Dongho got a soda and followed Jonghyun to a standing table.

“You know Minki normally comes out with me like this.” Jonghyun had to yell over the music and the people and the lights which were so overwhelming they might as well have also been making noise. "That's why I end up places like this. He always said if I was going to keep him up all night, we should do something fun." 

“Did he stop coming?” 

“No, he still does. I'm just saying, you should feel special,” Jonghyun said. “You're the first other person I've asked.” 

Dongho didn't want to think too hard about what exactly Jonghyun was saying, and what it meant that Jonghyun had invited him. Whatever it was, it made his chest thrum happily. 

“You’ve really known Minki forever, huh?” Dongho asked. A much safer topic. 

“Half my life. Practically forever,” Jonghyun said. “Or I guess, almost half my life, but still, it’s close. We were trainees together.”

“Why did you stop?” Dongho asked curiously. If he'd learned anything from this night, it was that Jonghyun loved being on stage. 

“It was the company's decision, not mine.”

“They threw you out?” 

“Nah, that would have been easier," Jonghyun said. "There was all this talk about making their first boy group and getting trainees and everything, right? They scouted me, then Minki, and then… no one else. Eventually, our first training contracts ran out, and by that time—we knew it wasn’t going to happen. Not there.”

“You both left,” Dongho said. 

“Minki tried again. I didn’t—well, I did this instead. It was safer, and I was good enough, and I liked it. Minki says it’s fate we ended up on stage together in any sense.” 

It was more likely that Jonghyun and Minki had known each other so well and were around each other so much that they created the opportunities themselves. Dongho told him that, and Jonghyun laughed. 

“Minki wanted to rig the audition for me—or at least say he wanted me, but I wouldn’t let him let me cheat. So instead he made sure I had lots of experience dancing with him right before. Easiest audition of my life.”

Jonghyun finished his drink. He had leaned over the table as they spoke, but now he stood straight up. “Dance with me,” he said. He offered Dongho his hand. 

“Uh, I don’t really—”

“Then stand there and sway like a straight guy,” Jonghyun interrupted. He didn’t wait for Dongho to take his hand, but instead grabbed Dongho’s wrist. 

“Haven’t you danced enough tonight?” 

“We’re going to be sitting so much tomorrow,” Jonghyun said. “We’ve got to go on to Tokyo. This is just me preparing for that. Even you can’t like that much sitting.”

“All I do when I work is sit.” Even though now Dongho was following Jonghyun out find their own spot on the crowded dance floor. Bright flashing lights lit up parts of the crowd. 

“Yeah, but you work out lots too. You can’t tell me you don’t want to move around some.”

“I went to the hotel gym today,” Dongho said. Jonghyun was right, though. Hotel gyms were limited at best, and Dongho had been missing his normal workout. 

Jonghyun started moving to the music. He had sweat running down his neck, and not enough space to really dance, but he was still fun to watch. A couple times, Jonghyun came in closer to Dongho—and once Dongho noticed another man watching Jonghyun dance, scooting in closer like he might have a chance with him, and Dongho pulled Jonghyun in close himself. 

That time, Dongho used a bit too much strength. Jonghyun bounced off of him, but he didn’t seem to mind. He laughed and rested his hands on Dongho’s upper arms. Jonghyun swayed with Dongho—who did his best to not look like a straight guy, thank you very much.

He tilted his head up to look Dongho in the eyes, but Dongho focused on the beads of sweat rolling down his neck.

“You know,” Jonghyun said. “When Bora and me get this close—you know, in the _Call Me Back_ dance?—she always makes this face at me. Like she”—Jonghyun twisted around and his hands moved from Dongho’s arms to his waist, but Dongho wasn't Bora and so it didn't work—“well, you know. But she always does this—” Now he crossed his eyes, and it startled a laugh out of Dongho. “Right? And I can’t do anything back ‘cause I face the audience.” 

“You’re Minki’s choreographer,” Dongho said. “Make it the other way around next time.” 

“Co-choreographer,” Jonghyun corrected. “And I’m a little scared Bora will make a face back no matter what.” Jonghyun still had his hands on Dongho’s waist.

Their faces were close, and Dongho’s heart stuttered in his chest. His hands, which had been uselessly holding Jonghyun, now dropped to Jonghyun’s waist. Jonghyun was still swaying, and Dongho moved with him. He remembered Jonghyun's face as he had pulled Bora in close, like they were about to kiss. 

They were almost that close now. It would be so easy to cross the final couple inches. Dongho wanted to feel Jonghyun move against him. He wanted to taste the sweat dripping off Jonghyun. 

And maybe he did pull Jonghyun a little closer, because Jonghyun’s eyes seemed so close and so dark now. His lips were parted, and he breathed through his mouth. Dongho could smell the alcohol. It would be so easy to kiss him, right now. 

Jonghyun was the first to lean back. “Do you really not want to share a room with me again?” he asked.

“What?” 

Jonghyun started to repeat it louder, but Dongho squeezed his arm, and he stopped.

“I’ll share with you,” Dongho said. “If you want me to.”

Dongho hadn’t let go of Jonghyun’s arm. He was still moving slightly with the music, and the bright lights flashing over everyone caught his face. Dongho was hyperaware of Jonghyun’s every movement. His heart was never going to slow to a normal pace again. 

Dongho wanted Jonghyun so badly. He had known this was a bad idea. 

“We should go,” he said. “It’s late.”

Finally, Jonghyun agreed. He moved back, so there was an appropriate distance between them. Dongho missed having Jonghyun in his arms.

A few minutes later, when Jonghyun and Dongho were in the back of a taxi, and Dongho watched the neon signs blur along the streets, he thought of a question. Jonghyun was nodding off. Dongho watched his eyes drift shut, his head loll, and finally him jerk back awake.

“Jonghyun?” Dongho asked.

“Huh?” He widened his eyes seemingly to wake himself up better. 

“Would you have really stopped dancing with Minki over the dating rumors?”

Jonghyun took the question in stride, though there was no way he could have anticipated it. 

“Yes?” His voice cracked uncertainly. “I don't know. It would’ve sucked.”

“You would have stood up to them,” Dongho said. He hadn’t been certain when he asked, but he was now. “You wouldn’t have let rumors stop you.” 

“Minki woulda wanted that.”

“You don’t think you would have?”

Jonghyun made an ‘I dunno’ type sound. Dongho figured the answer didn’t matter now. They’d managed to avoid any of that stuff. He did have to give it to Minki—this had worked better than Dongho had imagined it ever could have to stop the rumors. 

“Now I have a question,” Jonghyun said, once they had left the taxi and were on their way up to their room. The sweat had dried on Jonghyun’s face, and his hair was all ruffled, the bit of makeup now smeared around his eyes. He looked good, in a way that inspired thoughts Dongho refused to linger on. 

“You can shower first,” Dongho said.

“Not my question but good to know.” Jonghyun grinned. “I want to know if you meant what you said online, that you used to stop and watch me dance before any of this.” 

Dongho hadn’t expected Jonghyun to ask him about that. The words echoed through his head, damn near word-for-word after he’d spent so long figuring out the best way to say something true to Jonghyun, while also fitting into their mutual lie. 

Dongho wanted Jonghyun to understand how much Dongho appreciated getting to know him.

“There’s a quicker way from the elevator to my studio that doesn't go by Minki’s practice room,” Dongho said. 

Jonghyun’s smile said he understood. Dongho had passed the practice room enough to learn Jonghyun’s favorite corners there. They’d become acquaintances because of the short conversations they’d shared in those places.

Jonghyun knew what Dongho was saying. 

“You’re good with words,” Jonghyun said. “What you wrote made my heart flutter.”

Jonghyun was one to talk. Dongho couldn’t stop his heart from fluttering around him.

“Maybe that was my goal,” Dongho said. But that was too much. “You’re my fake-boyfriend. I’m in charge of making your heart flutter.”

“Even though you posted the video I told you not to take along with it,” Jonghyun said. He wasn’t actually angry. He’d wrinkled up his nose and made a face. Dongho shouldn't have found it so adorable on a night where he'd spent so long being painfully attracted to Jonghyun.

When they arrived, and Jonghyun finally went to shower, Dongho tried and failed to not think about him still.

\--

The next day, Minki showed Dongho a few clandestine shots someone had taken of him and Jonghyun together. It was hard to even tell it was Dongho and Jonghyun in the candids. In the darkness, they held each other close. 

If Dongho had run into this photo anywhere else, he would have thought it was a picture of a couple. 

If some stranger had taken candid shots of Dongho a week ago, he would have found it creepy. Now he still thought it was, but he was almost used to it.

A lot of things had changed in not too much time. 

“Jonghyun only took me because you didn’t want to go,” Dongho told Minki.

“You don’t need to defend yourself,” Minki said. “I’m only showing you because it means it worked. Fans can’t get much more proof that you and Jonghyun are dating than this.”

“We’re not dating, though.”

Minki hummed and locked his phone. Dongho stared into the black screen. 

“You’re wrong, by the way,” Minki said. “Jonghyun never asked me to go with him yesterday.” 

Before, Dongho had tried to temper his jealousy over Jonghyun and Minki's relationship. Now, he wondered how Minki felt about this. "Do you wish he did?" Dongho asked carefully.

Minki shook his head. "I'm not big on playing matchmaker," he said. "And I don't want to pretend I got you to do it because I want you two to date. But, it makes me feel better, to see that you and Jonghyun are getting something out of this too."

"That doesn't mean we're going to date," Dongho protested. "Just helping you and getting to know Jonghyun is enough to get out of this."

"That's how I know you were a good choice," Minki said. "But some words of advice? Jonghyun takes forever to get to know people, but he's extremely loyal once he does. He can get hurt easily with that, so he goes back and forth trying to figure out whether it's worth it." 

"What does that mean?"

"He's not trying to send you mixed signals," Minki said. "Jonghyun's just gotten hurt before and doesn't want it to happen again. Don't force him into anything, but don't let him take things glacially either."


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "What's the point, if you're so careful you stop taking chances?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not my best writing, but, well, pandemics do that to you

Jonghyun was working out. He had invited Dongho to join him at the hotel gym, but Dongho figured he didn’t need to send himself into an early grave on purpose, so he’d made up some bullshit about wanting to take a nap.

Now, he was in their room, worrying himself into an early grave instead. More specifically, he was in their hotel in Osaka, where they’d spend the last three days of the tour. Dongho was sitting in another hotel room that was just generic enough it could have been anywhere. The draperies were pulled over the window because it faced west, and the glare from the sunset had bothered Jonghyun before he’d left.

It had bothered Dongho, too, but he had enough other stuff on his mind. Namely, the fact that he was sitting on the only bed in their room.

This wasn’t supposed to happen. Things had gone so well in Tokyo—yes, awkward, but they’d made strides. Osaka was supposed to be a perfect balance. The one that was just right, after Nagoya was too small and Tokyo too big. They’d figured out staying together, and now it wasn’t supposed to be a source of stress.

Dongho was very stressed.

Someone knocked on the door, and Dongho bolted off the bed like he'd been caught red-handed where he wasn’t supposed to be.

Was Jonghyun back already? Had he forgotten his key or something? Dongho made his way over and opened the door enough to peek through.

“Jonghyun’s not here, right?” Minki asked. Even though Dongho confirmed he wasn’t, Minki still walked inside to check. Dongho hadn’t spent too much time with him over the tour, considering his exhausting schedule. “We have to talk." 

Even now, he seemed tired, but not the kind of tired a cup of coffee would fix. He was tired on a deeper level. Tours were taxing, mentally, physically, and emotionally.

“We do?” And Jonghyun couldn’t be here during it? “Don’t tell me this is more about Jonghyun and me—” For someone who didn’t like to play matchmaker, Minki sure was getting involved.

“I’m not, don’t freak out—though don’t think I didn’t notice you’re clearly a mess over this whole situation—Jonghyun’s birthday is on the eighth. Minhyun’s technically in charge of getting things ready, but it’s a lot, and we really do need him to focus on the show…”

“You want me to help set up Jonghyun’s party?”

“Surprise party!” Minki clarified. “It won’t be anything too big, but I don't think Minhyun's set anything up yet."

It made sense for Dongho to organize it, because they could use their own room for it. It would be cramped with all the PLAY dancers, but it would be less suspicious to bring Jonghyun here than to bring him somewhere else. Yeah, Dongho could help. It seemed right, after everything.

“Aaron wants to film the beginning of it, too," Minki added. "Not--not too long, just, the fans will like it, and it’s a really nice way to end the filming for the tour.”

“Yeah, that’s fine.” Dongho could hopefully set something up that would look nice enough on camera.

“It would probably look weird if you’re not there,” Minki finished, and oh. Minki wasn't just here to get Dongho to agree to help; he thought he'd need to convince Dongho to even attend the party. He was using Dongho's fake relationship with Jonghyun to convince him.

It wasn’t like Dongho had forgotten about the fake dating, but it was jarring to hear Minki bring it up when it hadn’t really affected Dongho’s actions too much in the past couple days.

“Of course I’m coming,” Dongho said. “And I’ll help Minhyun.”

If he sounded anything but helpful or excited, Minki didn’t linger on it. “Great!” he chirped. He clapped his hands together lightly. “Don’t expect Jonghyun to actually be surprised, of course, but—”

“Why not?” Dongho could totally keep a secret from Jonghyun.

“We’re staying a whole extra day after the last show—which we _never_ do, or at least not everyone sticks around—and that day happens to be his birthday? Jonghyun knows.”

“I’ll find a way to surprise him,” Dongho promised.

“Great,” Minki said. “I should go, before Jonghyun gets back and really knows we’re organizing things.” He headed toward the door, but turned back to look at Dongho one last time with a mischievous smile. “Hope you enjoy sleeping with Jonghyun tonight.”

Before Dongho could splutter out a protest about the ocean-wide difference between sharing a bed and sleeping together, Minki was gone. That didn’t stop Dongho’s face from burning.

And so Dongho was back to where he'd ben before Minki showed up: stressed. At least it was a relatively large bed. Maybe things would be fine.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, things were not fine.

“Dongho.”

He groaned and shut his eyes tighter. It was way too early to wake up.

“Dongho, please get up.” This time accompanied by a slight shove to his side.

He raised his head and murmured out something like a question. In the dark and without his contacts, Dongho couldn’t make out too much of what was happening.

“If you don’t move I think I’m gonna die.” Jonghyun’s voice came from under Dongho, and he registered how Jonghyun was doing his best to free his arm from under him. He pulled back, unwillingly gaining the awareness he needed to do so.

Jonghyun plopped onto his back. He stretched out his limbs, starfishing as best he could with Dongho still in the bed. Even in the darkness, Jonghyun’s eyes caught small specks of light.

“You hugged me like fifteen minutes after you fell asleep,” he accused. “I couldn’t get out.”

Dongho couldn’t take him seriously when he sounded that sleepy, and his ruffled hair and disgruntled expression only made him look grumpy. “Sorry.”

“You’re _laughing_?” Jonghyun rolled on his side and propped himself up on one arm, then used his free one to shove Dongho. “Dongho!” he hissed.

“Go back to sleep. 'M tired.”

“You’re going to do it again, aren’t you?” Now Jonghyun was almost whining, but his voice was low and rough. It affected Dongho more than he was willing to admit. Certainly too much to fall back asleep despite it. “Minki tried to warn me.”

“Huh?”

“Mm. Said sharing a bed with you sucks.”

Dongho was too tired to defend himself. He just wanted to get back to sleep—the mattress under him was basically calling to him—but to do that, he needed to first appease Jonghyun.

Maybe there were ways to do that with words, but Dongho was short on those right now. It was much easier to reach out for Jonghyun, who froze as soon as Dongho’s hands were on him, and then complied without protest as Dongho pulled him in closer. Dongho resettled with Jonghyun against his chest.

At some point, they’d thrown the thin hotel blanket to places unknown, but Jonghyun was warm enough that Dongho didn’t need it back. The hem of Jonghyun’s pajama pants brushed Dongho’s bare calves as he readjusted, and then finally Jonghyun had his cheek and one hand on Dongho’s chest.

He offered Dongho one last smile before his already half-closed eyes fluttered shut. Jonghyun’s lips were slightly parted, his hair haphazardly brushed from his eyes, so it split somewhere near the middle of his forehead.

Dongho dropped his head back onto the pillow, but laid stiffly. He hadn't thought this through very well. Jonghyun’s back moved with his gentle breaths. His hair tickled Dongho's neck.

Dongho squeezed his eyes shut. He was never going to sleep again.

He was never going to sleep again.

He was nev

By the time Dongho truly woke up, Jonghyun was long gone. He had some vague memories of Jonghyun's alarm rousing him, but they were as far away as the dreams he'd had over the course of the night. 

Dongho covered his eyes with one hand until he adjusted to the sunlight, then twisted his back until it popped. As he did so, something small fell to the bed.

Dongho reached out blindly for it, unconvinced he'd really seen something. His eyes were still tired--but no, his fingertips brushed a slip of paper. It was a thin piece of memo paper with the hotel’s logo on it, and a few quickly scrawled words.

_Hope you slept well~ I got more coffee in case you’ll want it._

Dongho caught himself smiling at the note held tightly between his fingers. Jonghyun was so... Dongho didn't have the words for him so soon after waking up. He dragged himself out of bed only to see four little plastic Keurig coffees now littering the sheets.

Jonghyun must have stacked them on top of him along with the note. It shouldn’t have been as endearing as Dongho found it, but he couldn’t stop turning the little containers over in his hands.

Everything about this, from Jonghyun having to leave so early but still replacing to coffees to the little note to the fact he’d left it all on Dongho’s back, of all things—

It was all very cute. Which was exactly the kind of thing Dongho shouldn't be thinking about Jonghyun.

It wasn’t like Dongho hadn’t known he was falling for Jonghyun, but this felt different. If before had been Dongho recognizing all the good things about Jonghyun and enjoying them, this was Dongho realizing he didn’t want to lose any of that, and that he could.

He had fallen for Jonghyun, but more so, it was going to hurt if Jonghyun hadn’t also fallen for him.

So, you know, it was only exactly what Dongho hadn’t wanted to come of this whole situation. Worse, he didn't even regret it.

you are my joy // OSAKA 190607 @jrrens

im sitting next to kang dongho he really Does have a ruin jren shippers day agenda

you are my joy // OSAKA 190607 @jrrens

he brought a flower im gonna d-word I bet its for jonghyun

you are my joy // OSAKA 190607 @jrrens

hes being all careful and making sure the flower doesn’t get messed up :(((

you are my joy // OSAKA 190607 @jrrens

@dongho please stop taking everything that matters away from me i have a family

Despite that this was Dongho’s third time seeing the show, it hadn’t grown old. Dongho had gone in smiling, excited about the planning he’d done for Jonghyun’s birthday, and he had kept smiling through it. Now Dongho was in a dark back hallway of the venue. He had a pink rose in his hands, and he had to physically prevent himself from moving it hand-to-hand, lest he mess it up.

He hoped Jonghyun would like it. Dongho hadn't even thought of an end-of-tour gift until a few hours ago. Jonghyun deserved it, for how well he'd done. How well they'd all done.

Of course, Dongho had been fresh out of good ideas as to selecting a gift for his fake boyfriend, real friend, real crush. Did backup dancers even get congratulatory gifts?

Finally, he’d settled with the traditional: a rose.

A pink rose, because red had seemed like a little too much. The florist had wrapped it in plastic and everything.

As Dongho ruminated on the flower, the door opened. He jerked back, preparing to shove the rose behind his back if necessary, but it was only Handong. She took one look at Dongho and went, “You’re looking for Jonghyun? You should go in.”

Dongho only realized when the door was closing behind him that he maybe should have protested how Handong took one look at his flower and assumed it was for Jonghyun. She was right, but it could have been for Minki, too. 

The room was organized in the same way that a brimming suitcase was. There was some semblance of order, but only enough to close the doors and keep it from spilling out. Within the saturated, controlled chaos, the PLAY dancers filled most of the room. Several were hanging concert outfits onto the clothes rack or even still changing. In another corner, the women who did Minki’s hair and makeup were packing their supplies.

Finally, Dongho spotted Jonghyun. He was oddly outside of the chaos, sitting still and cross-legged on the arm of a couch. It was a strange position, made stranger by how Jonghyun seemed to be the only one not moving, and from what Dongho knew about him, should definitely be moving right now.

Dongho approached slowly, and waited for Jonghyun to spot him. Jonghyun’s back was stiff, and something shiny was stretched across the front of his shirt. The room’s fluorescent lights gleamed off it. 

This wasn’t what Dongho had expected.

Jonghyun finally saw him and smiled, but it was taut.

“What’s that?” Dongho asked.

“I’m icing my back,” Jonghyun said. He twisted just enough for Dongho to see the shiny was saranwrap, and it was holding a small bag of ice to Jonghyun’s lower back.

“Is it okay?”

“What’s that for?” Jonghyun nodded at the flower. Dongho realized too late that he’d forgotten to hide it behind his back or anything.

“You,” he said and tried to play it cool as he held the flower out to Jonghyun. It ended up around level with Jonghyun’s nose, and he blinked down at it. Dongho regretted this. He regretted everything. Maybe it was stupid to get a flower for someone after they performed in a show that was only kinda theirs after all—

“Thank you,” Jonghyun said. His normal energy was still doused, but his eyes were grateful. He leaned forward and wrapped Dongho into a careful hug. His chin hooked over Dongho’s shoulder, and Dongho squeezed him tighter.

Before he let go, Jonghyun’s phone alarm went off. “Ah,” he said right in Dongho’s ear. “Twenty minutes.” He pulled back and started to unwrap the plastic wrap. Carefully, he passed Dongho his flower back and went instead to dump the ice into a sink.

“Are you going out tonight?” Dongho asked. He'd joined Jonghyun in his post-concert activities in Tokyo as well. They'd had a good time. Dongho had planned on it tonight too.

“No.” Jonghyun judged the empty plastic bag in his hands, then finally tossed it in the trash. “I save them, usually," he said. Dongho nearly asked what he was talking about before realizing Jonghyun meant the bag. "That one was too leaky.”

“What will you do then?”

“Go back. Unless—unless you need the room for something? Or you want it to yourself?” Now Jonghyun wavered. 

“I wouldn’t kick you out of your own room,” Dongho said. “And I don’t need it anyway. I’m just…” worried. Unsure because Jonghyun seemed so off. Unable to see past the gloominess cascading off him.

Jonghyun lifted the strap of his bag over his head. He smiled as he took the rose from Dongho again, then gently ran his fingers over one of the exterior petals. “I’ll have to find something to put this in once we’re back.” Dongho's heart flip-flopped.

"We'll find something," he said, but it still wasn’t _right_ though. It felt wrong for them to leave like this, to end the night and go back and then what? Go to sleep? Dongho had been hoping to spend the night with Jonghyun again, but not like this.

This was wrong.

"Are you ready?" Jonghyun asked. "I'm good to leave."

“Let’s get something to eat," Dongho decided.

Jonghyun looked startled. “But—”

“Will it bother your back?”

A pause. Then, "no."

"Good," Dongho said. By now, a lot of people had cleared from the room, so it was mainly company staff going around and packing different things. “Are you ready?”

In response, Jonghyun offered Dongho his hand, and Dongho took it. Their intertwined hands swung gently between them as they exited through the back.

“Do you have a place in mind?” Jonghyun asked.

“No." Dongho had seen a bunch of places around the florist, though. They could walk in that direction. "We'll find something good."

Jonghyun smiled, and gently squeezed Dongho’s hand.

you are my joy // OSAKA 190607 @jrrens

will u guys stop calling me a delusional shipper if i admit dongho and jonghyun are c*te

you are my joy // OSAKA 190607 @jrrens

aCTUALLY GONNA D WORD JONGHYUNS INSTA POST OH MY GOD

you are my joy // OSAKA 190607 @jrrens

icb after YEARS of us saying jonghyuns too shy to publicly be romantic with minki it turns out hes the type to post about his relationship all the damn time we’re all 🤡 huh

The meal helped. A lot. Until Jonghyun was nearly back to his normal levels. It wasn’t post-concert levels, but Dongho figured this was about as good as he could hope for.

As soon as they had entered the room, Jonghyun had set the rose up in a paper coffee cup filled with water. Meanwhile, Dongho had taken Jonghyun’s jacket and hung it up, so Jonghyun wouldn’t see the surprise party supplies tucked in the bottom of the closet.

Now Jonghyun was gently testing his back out.

“How is it?” Dongho asked. He hadn’t mentioned Jonghyun’s back since they left the concert, but the question had hung over him through dinner.

“It doesn’t hurt.” Jonghyun huffed, but it wasn’t really a laugh. “I’m more annoyed with myself than anything.”

“Why?”

“I overreacted.” Jonghyun was still stretching, and now without preamble, he bent over and placed his hands flat on the ground to stretch his hamstrings. Dongho averted his eyes. “It’s an old thing, but it was bad. Before. This time it barely hurt, and meanwhile I...” Jonghyun straightened up again.

He rolled his shoulders a couple times to loosen them. “Now I’m stuck here, still too restless to sleep—and I’m complaining to you, who doesn’t deserve it.”

“I asked,” Dongho said. “And I’ll stay up with you.”

“I already woke you up last night, and this morning. You sleep; I’ll be quiet.”

Dongho ignored his words and instead sank into the stiff armchair. The fabric was rough under his palms. When it became clear Dongho wasn’t going to go sleep, Jonghyun offered him a weak smile. “So now what?" he asked.

“First thing first,” Dongho said. He connected his phone to the small travel speakers he’d brought with him. Jonghyun laughed; over the past days, he’d seemed amused by how Dongho liked to constantly have music playing.

“Of course,” Jonghyun said teasingly. Then, “I hate this song.”

“What?” Dongho looked straight at Jonghyun again, in case he’d misheard him.

“Change it.”

“I know who made it. They’re a friend of mine.”

“Is that supposed to make it not bad?” Jonghyun asked. “You’ve played it like every night here.” He reached for Dongho’s phone, which Dongho instantly whisked out of his reach.

“Jonghyun…”

“I’m right, and you know it,” Jonghyun said. He sat on the arm of Dongho’s chair and leaned over so he could see Dongho’s phone screen. “Let me pick this time.”

Dongho turned to look at him, and he meant to say no. Really. He meant to say something playfully scathing, the kind of thing that might even get Jonghyun to laugh, but Jonghyun’s eyes were sparkling, no longer somber, and he really was so beautiful.

“Fine,” Dongho said. He tried to act like his face wasn’t burning.

“Wait, really?”

Dongho pushed his phone into Jonghyun’s hand. Jonghyun grinned in triumph. Somehow, Dongho didn’t regret this defeat, nor did he feel like a loser.

“Don’t play something bad,” he warned, for appearance’s sake. “Or else I’ll never let you pick the music ever again.”

“You’ll like it,” Jonghyun insisted. “Or maybe you won’t, since you apparently have bad—” Jonghyun nearly toppled off the chair when Dongho poked him in the side. Dongho burst into laughter that continued as Jonghyun regained his balance.

Once Dongho could finally look at him again, Jonghyun dramatically rolled his eyes, and Dongho started laughing all over again, and then Jonghyun was laughing too.

“You missed half the song,” Jonghyun grumbled finally, when Dongho had a hand on his stomach because it hurt, and he couldn’t catch his breath.

“Play it again,” Dongho said, because he really was interested in what kind of music Jonghyun listened to. He believed music was an important piece of people. Showing another person your very favorite songs could be a surprisingly intimate experience.

Jonghyun restarted the song. Dongho had never heard it before, but it certainly wasn’t a bad song. And he understood why Jonghyun would like it so much.

“It’s pretty good,” Dongho ceded.

“You’re the worst,” Jonghyun said simply. He hopped off the arm of the chair, but only to grab his phone. He headed over to Dongho’s speakers, and Dongho didn’t protest as Jonghyun connected his own phone to them.

Jonghyun returned to his perch but didn’t put his phone away. Instead, he held it out to Dongho. “Look.” He had opened his Instagram to the photos he'd posted after their dinner. Dongho had nearly forgotten about them.

The pictures themselves were cute and very much romantic. So romantic Dongho had first seen them and wondered if they were a little too real for the way he and Jonghyun were using them. The comments were a collection of hearts and ‘uwu’s and ‘relationship goals.’

In the pictures, the two of them were standing before a waterway. Lights reflected off the dark water and a small boat went by the background. In one, Dongho had his arm wrapped around Jonghyun, and they both looked at the camera, whereas in the other, Jonghyun had gone to poke Dongho’s cheek with the rose, and the shot was slightly blurry, as Dongho startled and Jonghyun laughed.

Dongho had gotten fake-mad over it, but really, he’d been glad that Jonghyun seemed in higher spirits. Dongho was still glad, even though seeing the pictures now hurt a little. They really did look like a couple.

“You’re my entire page now,” Jonghyun said. Sure enough, with the exception of a video of Jonghyun and Bora dancing together from right before the tour, the last several posts all had to do with Dongho. Dongho was sure his own would be similar, if he pulled it up.

“We went overboard.”

“It’s worked though,” Jonghyun said. “I don’t think Minki will have any problems after all this.”

“So will we… stop? Or do less?” Things had changed so much between them in the past few days, Dongho couldn’t figure out what that would look like once they were back in Korea. He didn’t want things to go back to how they had been before this, but how much of his and Jonghyun’s relationship was because they’d been quite literally forced together?

“Do you want to?”

How was Dongho supposed to answer _that_?

“What else would we do?”

“Well, I’ll still be around,” Jonghyun said. “We’ve still got the rest of the tour.” They had a few weeks in-between the Japan shows and the shows throughout Southeast Asia, and those dates weren’t nearly as compressed, but Jonghyun was right. There were five—six?—shows left in the next couple months. He’d be in the company buildings a lot. “Assuming my back doesn’t hurt.”

“If it does?” Would they still see each other? Would Jonghyun have to stop dancing?

“I’ll slow down,” Jonghyun said. “But it shouldn’t. It’s not a bad injury anymore; it’s just something that could get worse again.”

“So it’s good to be careful.”

“It’s good to not be stupid,” Jonghyun corrected. “Because what’s the point, if you’re so careful you stop taking chances? I would have quit dancing years ago. I wouldn’t have been happy.” 

It was clear he’d thought about this a lot.

“I’m bad at not being afraid,” he added. “But I’m trying to be afraid and happy.”

Many things had happened that Dongho hadn’t expected these past few days, and now he experienced one more. On stage, Jonghyun was a flood of energy. After concerts, he struggled to dispose of that energy cleanly, and it lingered on and on. Dongho understood why better now.

Many things had happened that Dongho hadn’t expected these past few days, but he particularly hadn’t been prepared for how genuinely highly he thought of Jonghyun.

Dongho couldn’t imagine a career with such a definite end date as Jonghyun’s. He could--would--make music until the day he died, but Jonghyun could not dance forever. Worse, it could be taken from him suddenly.

Despite that, Jonghyun was someone with his feet firmly set on a path. He’d faced setbacks—ample of them, clearly—and he’d made choices he believed in during them. Dongho respected that.

But Jonghyun still wasn't finished. "I don’t like pushing good things aside because I’m scared, or because bad things have happened to me. And I don’t like not being honest." Jonghyun paused, and Dongho knew they weren't talking solely about Jonghyun's career anymore. "Dongho…” His gaze was intense, pleading with Dongho to understand. He said nothing more.

Days ago, Minki had told Dongho to expect a push-pull, to expect Jonghyun's uncertainty because he was scared of being hurt. Now Dongho remembered what Minki had said about how whole-heartedly Jonghyun supported those he cared about.

Dongho looked at Jonghyun, and he didn't feel unsafe. Vulnerable, yes; flustered, yes, but comfortable in the knowledge that even if nothing else, Jonghyun cared about him. 

“I don’t want things to go back to how they were when we go back,” Dongho admitted. The corners of Jonghyun’s mouth turned up into the slightest and sweetest of smiles. The change was subtle, but all-encompassing, a tension that had previously gone unnoticed now absent from Jonghyun’s face.

“Me neither," he said.

Dongho had a lot of thoughts in his head. He still couldn’t imagine how they'd work after this tour, and once life returned to normal. Jonghyun would be a new piece in his old life, and Dongho would have to figure that out.

They were going to figure it out.

Dongho could have told Jonghyun all of that, but he was rather certain he knew it already. They were on the same page.

And so instead, Dongho leaned forward and gently kissed Jonghyun. It was enough. They were going to figure everything out.

It was more than enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> one more chapter and then im free from this fic!!!
> 
> also the "if you can't be unafraid, be afraid and happy" is a Stiefvater reference but idk its been on my mind and showed up in this and i liked it so here we are


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was their new normal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is 100% because of jbaek's strawberry milk date i wrote 90% of this chapter that day lol

The one part of the plan that Dongho wasn’t certain about was how they’d get Jonghyun out of the room for long enough to set everything up. It ended up not being a concern: all Dongho had do was text Minki, who presumedly spread the message to Bora, who appeared and demanded Jonghyun leave with her for reasons unknown.

It was loud and sudden and thinly veiled; Bora knocking a whole bunch of times, then once inside, taking one look at Jonghyun and going “Hey, come with me.”

Jonghyun didn’t even ask for more information. She came in, and two minutes later, Jonghyun was obediently following her out. Dongho sent out the text to everyone else, and within minutes, Minki, Aaron, and Minhyun had all arrived.

“How much time do we have?” Aaron asked.

Minki waved a dismissive hand. He was already opening the closet to get the supplies Dongho had stuffed at the bottom. “Bora’s got Jonghyun.”

“That girl,” Aaron said fondly. He took one of the bags from Minki and pulled out a bunch of streamers and a package of balloons they could blow up.

“Someone needs to pick up the cake,” Dongho said. “We can keep it in the fridge here ‘till we’re ready.”

“I can do that,” Aaron said. “Minhyun? Want to come with?”

“Can you spare me here?” Minhyun asked. He shook the other bag of decorations.

For a second, Dongho looked at Minki and questioned whether he really wanted to decorate with only him. Then he looked back at Minhyun and realized it would probably be worse with both of them.

“We’ll be good,” Dongho said. “It shouldn’t take you too long, anyway.”

They left, and Minhyun turned back to Minki. He was already tearing streamers off the roll.

“Do we have a plan?” Minki asked. He looked like he already knew the answer.

They did not have a plan.

It wasn’t like Dongho expected much, but the room was an impressive mess of party decorations. They’d done what they could to maximize space, leaving a table in the middle for the cake and little other furniture.

Other than that… they’d perhaps gone overboard. Midway through, Dongho had looked around and thought “this is kind-of a lot” and that had been over twenty minutes ago. This was more than a lot. Too much.

Jonghyun was going to really like it.

Minhyun and Aaron arrived not long after Dongho packed the dregs of the party supplies back into their closet.

“This is…something,” Aaron said, spinning around in a slow circle.

“We went all out,” Minki said. He was lounging on their bed, but now he perked up. “Are we decorating the cake?”

“I didn’t get stuff to do it with,” Dongho said. That would have been a good idea.

“This is more than enough,” Aaron said. “Besides, I told Bora to bring Jonghyun in twenty minutes, and we’ve got to get the cameras running.” Aaron frowned and looked at the couple of Minki’s staff and their camera equipment. “We should do that now, actually. So Minki can explain what we’re doing before we surprise him.”

Minki hopped off the bed. “I can do a tour of the room,” he said.

Someone knocked on the door. It turned out to be several of the dancers, who made the room almost stupidly crowded. They oohed and awed over the cake, as Yubin took one look around the room and went, “dude.” Dongho elected to believe she was impressed by it.

“Do you have candles at least?” Minhyun asked. Dongho fished them out of the remaining plastic bag. Minhyun took them from him, and Dongho crowded over his shoulder to watch him place them.

“Should we take a picture before you mess it up?” Aaron asked, right as Minhyun prepared to stab it with a candle.

“Who says I’ll mess it up?”

“Fine, fine. Do it.”

Minhyun did. He was very careful, and the candles turned out very off-center. With a pout, he tried to correct it, only to leave an unfortunate candle-track across the cheesecake. Dongho caught Aaron’s eye from over Minhyun’s shoulder, and Aaron rolled his eyes. Dongho giggled.

The cameras were up now, and a hush went over the room as Minki started to speak. He broke down laughing almost immediately, then, “hey, all of you can’t just stare at me! Do something!”

Dongho straightened the cake so it sat directly under their HAPPY BIRTHDAY JONGHYUN banner. Aaron backed up by the entrance to the room to confirm it was centered well, and then took a couple pictures.

“We have to turn the lights off soon,” Minki was saying. “We’ve already got everyone in here, we’re just waiting for Bora and Jonghyun. I have…no idea where we’ll put everyone.” He laughed. “We’re in Dongho and Jonghyun’s room… It’s very crowded.”

Minki turned the last quarter to look back toward the door again. “Wait,” he said. “Guys, someone move those shoes, Jonghyun’s going to kill himself trying to walk in here.”

The dancers had all left their shoes by the door. Dongho was more amused by the thought of Jonghyun trying to hop over them in the dark than he should have been, but he was quick to direct them to drop them in the closet.

Finally, they were ready.

Dongho flicked the lights off, and everyone crouched down. Even if Jonghyun hadn’t already been very aware of what they were up to, the light from the still-running cameras would certainly clue him in.

Dongho found his own spot by the table with the cake, and only a minute or two later, Aaron announced that Bora and Jonghyun were on their way over.

It wasn’t a long wait after that. With all of them being as quiet as possible, Dongho could hear that it took Jonghyun two tries to get the key card to work.

The bright hallway light was blinding compared to the darkened room. Dongho blinked green and purple from his vision as they stepped inside. Jonghyun looked straight into the room, went “huh” and flipped the lights.

Whether surprised or not, their loud happy birthday (or rather a chorus of “happy birthday, Jonhyunnie,” “jonghyunnnnn,” immediate renditions of “Happy birthday” and more) managed to render Jonghyun speechless. Dongho couldn’t stop grinning as Jonghyun stood there blinking, then had to catch Minki as he threw himself into Jonghyun’s arms.

Minki led him to the table, where Aaron struck the match and lit the candles. Dongho was standing beside it, and even though Jonghyun was being pulled in a whole bunch of directions by a whole bunch of people, they shared a tiny smile. It was more than enough.

Jonghyun made his wish with his eyes closed, then blew out the candles. He immediately plucked one from the cake and stuck the back of it in his mouth.

“It’s good!” he announced, right as Aaron went, “we never got a picture!” and Minhyun laughed over his misfortune.

“I thought you said the candles messed it up,” Minhyun told him.

“I can put it back in,” Jonghyun offered, and hovered the candle over the cake. Aaron stopped him before he could.

“Just hold it and stand by Minki,” he said.

Jonghyun did as told. The dancers crowded in behind them, while Dongho stayed on the edge with Minhyun. Aaron took a couple pictures before finally getting one he liked well enough. He held up a thumbs up, and Dongho watched the staff shut the cameras down.

Not much changed without the cameras. Minki crowded in close to Jonghyun as he continued to cut the cake for them, and only then did Dongho remember how careful they had been before. It felt good to see them worry about it less. Dongho was proud of the part he’d played in all of it.

For a while longer, Dongho watched Jonghyun. It was nice to see him so happy, as they cut pieces of cake and passed them around. Jonghyun made certain Dongho got a piece of the cheesecake, and once again, they shared a tiny smile that felt like an inside joke.

Dongho caught Minhyun eyeing him after it, but Dongho didn’t say anything. It wasn’t a secret or anything, but tonight wasn’t the night to be talking about it. Let them close this page before opening another.

The party went on for a while, and left a solid mess in its wake. It was nothing horrific—really, half the mess was the same thing Dongho and Minki had called decorations earlier—but it was hard to look at their room and not think a tornado had swept through.

It also seemed shockingly large with only two people in it after the past couple hours. Jonghyun and Dongho were both lounging on their bed, and Dongho was ignoring Jonghyun’s occasional mention that they should clean up.

“Did you have fun?” Dongho asked.

Jonghyun had his phone out and was playing a game on it, but he still was smiling, and confirmed that he had had fun.

“Were you surprised?”

Jonghyun shook his head slightly. It was still enough for his bangs to bounce around his forehead. He’d changed into a large t-shirt and shorts since everyone left. 

“I’d be surprised if he didn’t. Minki’s thrown me ‘surprise’ parties since I turned eighteen.”

Jonghyun stretched out further and groaned, then rolled closer to Dongho. Jonghyun rested his head against Dongho’s shoulder, and Dongho barely refrained from pulling him even closer.

“We should finish cleaning,” he said, immediately ruining it.

“It’s late,” Dongho said. It wasn’t, really. “We’ll do it in the morning.” They were flying out in the morning.

“I’ve yet to see you fall asleep before three,” Jonghyun asked. “It’s barely one.”

“You’re laying down too.”

“I didn’t get enough time with you tonight. You were quiet. Didn’t you have fun?”

Dongho didn’t know how to tell him he’d spent most of the night watching Jonghyun having fun and having the most fun because of it, so he only assured Jonghyun that he had.

“We had a lot of fun setting everything up.”

“I can tell,” Jonghyun said. He was once again surveying the mess in their room. “It looked good,” he added, which was debatable.

“And you and Minki acted more like normal,” Dongho said. “Even when they were filming.”

“I didn’t even think about it.”

“That means it’s over, right? Minki won’t have any more problems?”

“If anyone says anything, I’ll just have to take some more pictures with my very great, very convincing boyfriend.”

“Oh yeah? Who’s that?”

Jonghyun rolled his eyes, then shifted so he could straddle Dongho’s hips and sit up. “Thank you, Dongho,” he said. “Seriously.”

“Don’t thank me.” Dongho didn’t regret any of it. Not the relatively spontaneous trip, not the fake-dating Jonghyun. He told Jonghyun that.

“Even this?” Jonghyun asked, then leaned forward and kissed Jonghyun. Whatever face Dongho made in response made Jonghyun lean in and kiss him again.

Definitely not that. “Do you?”

“Hmmm.” Jonghyun was smiling too wide for Dongho to take him seriously. “Let me double check.”

This kiss was longer, enough that Dongho tilted his head further and cupped Jonghyun’s cheek. Dongho pulled back first. He watched Jonghyun’s tongue wet his lips after.

“I think you should triple check,” Dongho said.

Jonghyun grinned. He leaned in super close, so his lips were brushing Dongho’s, but he didn’t close his eyes. “I would,” he said. “but you said it’s too late.”

“It’s barely after one,” Dongho said, and pulled Jonghyun back down.

The flight back was fast. It wasn’t much time in the air at all, less time than they’d spent between the two airports.

Dongho felt odd being back in Korea. This was a return to normal life for him—but also not. Dongho still couldn’t look at Jonghyun without butterflies erupting in his stomach. Even when Dongho truly went to leave—to split off from all the others for what seemed like the first time in a while—Jonghyun pulled him in close and kissed him.

“I’ll see you, yeah?” he’d asked. This was their new normal.

Dongho already missed him. He was some odd mix of travel-weary and ecstatic, unable to sit down and focus on any one thing for too long.

It was still Jonghyun’s birthday, but just barely. Their celebration felt so long ago—a whole country ago, plus the massive rush in the morning to leave anywhere close to on time. Dongho almost wished he could do more for Jonghyun, but he couldn’t.

Or could he.

Dongho checked the time. 11:51.

He would have just enough time. Dongho opened Instagram. Minki had taken a couple photos of Dongho and Jonghyun together and sent them over earlier. Dongho picked his favorite from them—a pretty shot of him and Jonghyun with the bright blue sky and the empty street behind them.

11:55.

Unlike the past posts about Jonghyun, Dongho wouldn’t have much time to think about this one. That was okay. He didn’t need the extra time.

In the other posts he’d struggled to balance keeping up the guise they needed and also telling Jonghyun something real.

Now, Jonghyun knew all the real stuff, and Dongho didn’t have to think so much about Minki’s fans. This time, Dongho could keep it simple and still know it meant everything he wanted it to.

11:59

_Happy birthday, Jonghyun-ah._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and im free!! wow it feels like i started this forever ago, but also it focuses on jonghyun's birthday so much at the end bc i kinda predicted i wouldnt finish till june lol 
> 
> i appreciate all kudos/comments and feel free to say hi on twitter (@onlystr84jongup)!

**Author's Note:**

> updates will prolly be slow with this, but i hope you still enjoy ^^ im expecting 7 chapters or so!
> 
> i live on [ twitter](https://twitter.com/onlystr84jongup) and [ curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/onlystr84jongup) and greatly appreciate all kudos and comments!


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